Fear of Sewing Machines

So, you know how people tend to have irrational fears? I've had a few in my life.

A fear of sponge bob actually led me to fall down stairs in college because a friend of mine started singing the theme song as I was getting ready to leave where we were all hanging out. I have sense over come that fear thanks to some great teens that I met a few years ago.

So through out my life I learned to sew. But I HATED sewing machines, I can't explain why but I've always had a fear of them... using them, being near them made me completely nervous. So all of the sewing I've ever done is by hand.

I think it's important to overcome fears and step outside of comfort zones and that's how I try to live my life, so this week I got out my sewing machine and finally decided to sit down and make a dress. I'm still nervous around sewing machines but I overcame my fear and in just a few hours time I finished making my first dress ever!

This is a big thing for me and I'm actually pretty proud, also I now own a BEAUTIFUL dress! :)

I recommend to live your life overcoming fears. It might be scary but good things happen when you overcome fears! Blessings!

Sayings from the Mind of Lynnea

Over the past 5 years being out of college, looking for jobs unsuccessfully but having lots of time to think... I've come up with different little sayings, stuff to live by, or even sayings that I've seen somewhere else that have really helped me.

For the sayings that I've seen somewhere else that have meant something, one comes to mind the most:
I'm not saying it's going to be easy but I am saying it's going to be worth it.

A story goes a long with that one, maybe one day I'll blog it, until then it's between me, God and those I'm close to that I've shared it with.

But the little things I've come up with through the last 5 years that have stuck with me:

"It's not a good thing, it's not a bad thing. It's a God thing and we'll see where it goes from here."
-This one was me trying to be be an honest encouragement to a friend of mine.

"If you can't find something to do, then you should take it upon yourself to learn to do something new."
-This one came about because in the last few years being jobless I've learned to cook, sew, make my own shampoo, lotion, body scrub, body wash, tooth past and deodorant. I also make my own jewelry and have taken up a few more crafts to fill the time up with something.

"I'm good with God, how are you?" -My little zinger of a reply when people condescendingly ask how I'm doing when they know I'm going through a rough patch

I'm sure there are more but these are the ones that immediately came to mind and I wanted to share because some of them amuse while others inspire. So have a good night you beauties!

Religion or Something Else

When I was at college there was this huge debate about "religion or relationship." Is it more about one or the other? Our university Chaplin even had a sermon on it saying something I in large part agree with, you can't have one without the other. It's religion AND relationship.

As time has gone on, and my faith in God has grown I've learned even more. I seek a divine RELATIONSHIP with God.

Going further, a religion tends to have the view of being tied down by beliefs. It's the thought of rules and regulations. The very definition is: relating to or believing in a religion, a person bound by monastic vows.

I've said about myself that while I go to a church that is of a denomination my heart is non denominational. You see, a denomination is a further breaking down of the religion of Christianity.

Looking in my library you'll see the same is true on a larger spectrum. I have The Book of Mormon, books on Catholicism and even a few rosaries or chaplets that I use in my prayer life. I have a Jewish Prayer shawl as well. So in my personal walk with God I've taken things from different denominations, or even other religions. No one religion or denomination is correct. We've all got different points and it's important to realize that. So am I saying that practicing religion is wrong? NO!

We just need to be able to have our eyes open instead of closed and often times that's what we let the focus on religion do to us, close our eyes.

It has annoyed me greatly recently that people put so much of a focus on religion to the point that when I say I'm a Christ follower or a lover of Christ I'm suddenly religious, and they turn their nose up at me "Oh, she's one of those!" No, I'm one of Christ's! I have a relationship with my Lord and savior not in one specific way but in many different ways!

It's like being in a relationship with anyone else, My interest in these other things, incorporating my knowledge of Catholicism, Jewish, Mormon and whatever else into my daily walk with God, praying about it and making it personal for my relationship with Him is what keeps our love alive and thriving and not boring and full of rules. I recognize that the Bible says there is only ONE GOD. And that is the ONE GOD I focus on. Just some thoughts I had today.

Resurrection Day and Ramblings

First, I would like to say Happy Easter, Passover, Resurrection day to each and every single one of you.

Sitting at home after service today I did some reading. I'd just come inside from being out and working on cutting some limbs down on some trees.

I was reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan and I have to say it convicted me of something bad. Let me explain.

My entire childhood I was the girl that smiled no matter what she faced... Even when I was utterly depressed over the death of my Dad I found reasons to smile, I was the girl that found joy in the darkness... I loved being like this. But then people started condemning me for it, others would tell me (whether they knew my past or not) that I have always had it easy because I never struggled.

The truth was I struggled in silence, only those closest to me knew, and sometimes even they didn't know until later sometimes. My best friend all through high school had no idea that I was bullied all through our years in HS together, for example. She only found out about 4 years ago when I finally confessed it to her.

I've had aunts, cousins, grandparents and other family members and friends tell me that they've had it more difficult than me because they've had to go through other struggles on top of things that happened in their lives. All the while not realizing that I have gone through a lot, had struggles I just did it all silently keeping a smile on my face and my head just above water.

After hearing that for so long I began to be utterly honest about what I'm going through, when I'm going through it, how I'm going through it, and sometimes even why. Now people say I'm complaining when it's just honesty... but I would love to get back to the happy go lucky girl I one was. Perhaps I will...

Thank you God, Thank you Daddy

As it's the day before Resurrection Sunday I'm in a time of thought. I've been this way for a couple of days now and this fact is what kept me awake most of the night last night.

I am stubborn, strong-willed, opinionated, kind, patient, and a little goofy.

I've had both an easy and difficult life. Starting from a tough time at school, being bullied all the way through my college years, when I was 5 my sister died, then when I was 15 my dad was diagnosed with cancer and died 7 months later, through that my mom broke her arm so I became the caretaker in my home. I've had knee problems my whole life having 4 knee surgeries, I was diagnosed with ACC (agenesis of the corpus callosum), thyroid disease, and through it all I persevered. I went to college against all odds and graduated, granted, now I don't have a job to show for the degree I received the fact is I tried and didn't give up.

I've learned through all of this that patience and a good since of humor are the best ways to survive through this life. I am not going to lie, I went through a time in my life where I was suicidal, I recently even revisited those dark thoughts, but through it all God was there and so was  that strong will my dad and mom helped build in me.

I'm so thankful for Jesus and His path to the cross that is so heartbreaking, I'm even more thankful to the Resurrection because His living again has given me a reason to continue living.

I miss my dad even now but I love that he gave little tiny ways to know he's still around. It's amazing how God can show us these things.
Keep your eyes on the Son.