I believe.
These are words that are relevant at different times in our lives.
When we are children and we reach an age where we are told Santa and the Easter Bunny (or even the Tooth Fairy) aren't real.
We have a choice, Do we believe?
Yes. I believe.
I'm 31 years old and I believe in Santa, I believe in the Easter Bunny. I Believe in magic. Not in the same way as I did when I was a child. I believe in the magic, in the spirit, in the MEANING of these things. I believe for my children, I believe for myself. I believe.
More than that, I chose to believe in God long ago. I was 8 years old when I asked Christ into my heart when I got the question "Do you Believe?" and I said "YES!"
I was recently introduced to a movie called Do You Believe and it forced me to look at my life, to answer that question of belief. I answered Yes. With all of my heart I believe. No matter what, I BELIEVE.
Through out my life there were smaller questions of belief.
These are the questions I want to focus on today.
I believe everything will be okay. In this life... well... LIFE HAPPENS. Things go wrong, struggles appear, yet everything SOME HOW will be okay. Why do I believe this?
When my father died, I thought my world was ending. He was the parent I was closest to. We rarely clashed and I loved him very dearly. I entered a depression that I thought I'd never leave. I wanted to die. Then little things woke me up. Some more amusing than others.
I went to the hospital after Dad died, problems with my healthy, and my mother and I were awakened by something. The hospital had not just my father marked as dead but when he died they marked me as dead too! I was quite literally a "Dead girl walking" They fixed it quite easily but the point was that it woke me up and made me realize I didn't TRULY want to die. I still had someone to be there for, my mother. who would be crushed if I left her too. I laugh at it now, I laughed at it then, but it still woke me up!
In the midst of it all, I was being bullied at school, by students and teachers. I needed out. I had befriended a person that was homeschooled. I decided to be homeschooled for a while too. Being homeschooled for nearly a year and a half, getting a different experience, woke me up.
Years later I was diagnosed with a disorder I had since birth, all the while being told I would amount to nothing.
I've overcome many things my disorder could keep me from. I got a college education, I found true love, I have 3 wonderful step children. I amount to many things, I'm also an author. Everything has turned out just fine. AND My mother is now my best friend!
So yes, I believe. I believe strong.
I also believe in more than just doctors. My experience of doctors says that they don't care like they used to. They think more about being a liability and less about helping their patient. My Aunt Liz and I both say something "They treat the symptoms not the cause of the symptoms. Not the real problem." That is our experience and the experience of many others.
So myself and others take things into their own hands. Not badly, research is done. I started using Herbs a few years ago when I had horrible migraines and none of their prescription meds were helping. I took feverfew and it was the only thing that helped. So what do I believe in? Natural remedies.
I've recently discovered essential oils and we use them in our home, diffuse them, use them topically but it's helped with our sinuses, headaches, and insomnia.
My husband who has tried many things for sleep has found that essential oils are the best thing for him.
I believe in the big things and the small things. I believe that essential oils are good for health and cleaning and a little bit of everything.
So I declare this about all that I believe.
" Yes, I believe
I believe with all that is in me
Yes, I believe
Though the world rises up against me
I will be faithful
To the choice I have made
I am determined
I will not be ashamed
To live so the whole world can see
That yes, I believe" -Yes, I believe by Point of Grace.
Wednesday, April 26, 2017
Sunday, April 23, 2017
Love or... not?
Alright so I had fully planned on saving this post as a joint thing with a couple of my friends from college. I still REALLY want to do that but this subject has come up again a LOT and it's time I touch on it even a little bit.
It's no secret I'm a newlywed. 6 months into my marriage and I love my husband more every single day.
Do we fight? Of course! It would be unhealthy if we didn't!
Do we disagree? Honestly, we disagree MORE than we fight! lol
Do we have our problems? YES!
Do we let that get between us? NO.
If you think this is one of those marriage advice blog posts you are one of the few people that don't know me who read this. Keep reading, I promise it wont be that bad!
So I'm a newlywed, what do I know about seasoned, weathered marriages? A little more than you may think. I'm a proud people watcher, I'm also a proud learner from my own mistakes as well as the mistakes of others.
My dad used to say "There are too many mistakes to make in this life to make them all yourself. Learn from the mistakes of others as well as your own." I have taken that and run with it.
There is more. I went to a Christian University. Yeah, I know what some of you are thinking, but it was required that we take Marriage & Family. I learned a lot from that course.
But in my short time as a married person I've learned a lot more about love than I could ever imagine.
That brings me to this point, way too many people are getting divorced because they "fell out of love."
Love is not a cloud, or a staircase you can fall from. Love is LOVE. It's an action and a CHOICE.
Do you wake up one morning and say "well it's time for a divorce, I don't love my spouse anymore?" If so... there is a problem here.
What about the marriage vows? In sickness and health? Till Death do us part? Do ANY of these ring a bell? What do they mean?
They mean that it is a PREREQUISITE of marriage to love your spouse no matter what.
Okay, things happen, cheating, abuse... things that shouldn't happen. THOSE THINGS ARENT LOVE! Those things break the marriage vow as much as falling out of love does. Those things are also a whole lot harder to fix, since love IS a choice.
Are there times I want to yell and scream and just go off on my husband? If there wasn't I wouldn't be human. But what do I do instead? I choose to calmly tell him how I'm feeling, and we sit down and talk it out. There is closure and we are fine. I don't stop loving him, because we just fixed the issue.
Know what else I do? Every day I wake up and say "What kind thing can I do to show my husband how much I love him?" It could be something as simple as the dishes, cleaning a room in the house, making him a yummy meal or dessert (my husband likes to fix dinner), I may set up his favorite video game as I hear him come home or attack him with nerf darts. One time I had a candle lit dinner waiting for him, the house spotless, started throwing nerf darts at him when he came in, and had music playing so we could just dance.
And because I make these efforts, so does he. He'll leave me my favorite candy bar with a note where I can see it, he started getting things that I enjoy, as presents for the bad days, just to cheer me up. I was sad over the death of my grandma and he put in Ugly Betty (her favorite show) and watched it with me for like 4 hours!!
We choose to SHOW love every day and because of that we continue to love with a fierce awesomeness.
Please don't fall for the myth that falling out of love is way out of marriage. Sure it is, but is it a good idea?
Trials happen, trouble is around every corner, but you got married, you CHOSE to love that person, keep choosing it!
I hate hearing about divorce but I'm not going to say it shouldn't ever happen. I have known people that were abused for years, and they stayed with the person but it never got better, it only got worse and then they finally got that divorce. It was the best option at that point.
Even with cheating, that's a LACK OF RESPECT for your spouse.
There needs to be two BIG things in a marriage.
LOVE and RESPECT
With that love and respect there should be other big things.
Love and Respect should have communication, trust, kindness, understanding and PATIENCE. (yes faithfulness falls under the trust thing. To have trust there needs to be faithfulness)
There is a biblical scripture. It's said at many weddings and for the Christians reading this I will post it as a reminder but for the non-Christians.
The recipe that I just gave you is a great thing for a healthy marriage. That being said... sit down with your spouse and make a list like the one above, of the qualities and values that are important to you in a marriage.
Okay so maybe there WAS a little advice. But I wanted this to be more about what I HOPE to see.
I want to see more marriages last. I want others to realize that love is a choice, that falling out of love is just a bad reason for divorce. It just is. If people keep up at this rate, and divorce every time they fall out of love.... pretty soon we'll ALL know 10-12+ friends and family that have been divorced 5+ times just because they fell out of love.
Give love time to grow, because it WILL.
This is love:
1 Corinthians 13
New American Standard Bible (NASB)
8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of [c]prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part; 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. 11 When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I [d]became a man, I did away with childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror [e]dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. 13 But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the [f]greatest of these is love.
^From BibleGateway
Hopefully my friends and I can join together. They have both been married longer than me so I'd like to get their takes on this all too important subject as well!
It's no secret I'm a newlywed. 6 months into my marriage and I love my husband more every single day.
Do we fight? Of course! It would be unhealthy if we didn't!
Do we disagree? Honestly, we disagree MORE than we fight! lol
Do we have our problems? YES!
Do we let that get between us? NO.
If you think this is one of those marriage advice blog posts you are one of the few people that don't know me who read this. Keep reading, I promise it wont be that bad!
So I'm a newlywed, what do I know about seasoned, weathered marriages? A little more than you may think. I'm a proud people watcher, I'm also a proud learner from my own mistakes as well as the mistakes of others.
My dad used to say "There are too many mistakes to make in this life to make them all yourself. Learn from the mistakes of others as well as your own." I have taken that and run with it.
There is more. I went to a Christian University. Yeah, I know what some of you are thinking, but it was required that we take Marriage & Family. I learned a lot from that course.
But in my short time as a married person I've learned a lot more about love than I could ever imagine.
That brings me to this point, way too many people are getting divorced because they "fell out of love."
Love is not a cloud, or a staircase you can fall from. Love is LOVE. It's an action and a CHOICE.
Do you wake up one morning and say "well it's time for a divorce, I don't love my spouse anymore?" If so... there is a problem here.
What about the marriage vows? In sickness and health? Till Death do us part? Do ANY of these ring a bell? What do they mean?
They mean that it is a PREREQUISITE of marriage to love your spouse no matter what.
Okay, things happen, cheating, abuse... things that shouldn't happen. THOSE THINGS ARENT LOVE! Those things break the marriage vow as much as falling out of love does. Those things are also a whole lot harder to fix, since love IS a choice.
Are there times I want to yell and scream and just go off on my husband? If there wasn't I wouldn't be human. But what do I do instead? I choose to calmly tell him how I'm feeling, and we sit down and talk it out. There is closure and we are fine. I don't stop loving him, because we just fixed the issue.
Know what else I do? Every day I wake up and say "What kind thing can I do to show my husband how much I love him?" It could be something as simple as the dishes, cleaning a room in the house, making him a yummy meal or dessert (my husband likes to fix dinner), I may set up his favorite video game as I hear him come home or attack him with nerf darts. One time I had a candle lit dinner waiting for him, the house spotless, started throwing nerf darts at him when he came in, and had music playing so we could just dance.
And because I make these efforts, so does he. He'll leave me my favorite candy bar with a note where I can see it, he started getting things that I enjoy, as presents for the bad days, just to cheer me up. I was sad over the death of my grandma and he put in Ugly Betty (her favorite show) and watched it with me for like 4 hours!!
We choose to SHOW love every day and because of that we continue to love with a fierce awesomeness.
Please don't fall for the myth that falling out of love is way out of marriage. Sure it is, but is it a good idea?
Trials happen, trouble is around every corner, but you got married, you CHOSE to love that person, keep choosing it!
I hate hearing about divorce but I'm not going to say it shouldn't ever happen. I have known people that were abused for years, and they stayed with the person but it never got better, it only got worse and then they finally got that divorce. It was the best option at that point.
Even with cheating, that's a LACK OF RESPECT for your spouse.
There needs to be two BIG things in a marriage.
LOVE and RESPECT
With that love and respect there should be other big things.
Love and Respect should have communication, trust, kindness, understanding and PATIENCE. (yes faithfulness falls under the trust thing. To have trust there needs to be faithfulness)
There is a biblical scripture. It's said at many weddings and for the Christians reading this I will post it as a reminder but for the non-Christians.
The recipe that I just gave you is a great thing for a healthy marriage. That being said... sit down with your spouse and make a list like the one above, of the qualities and values that are important to you in a marriage.
Okay so maybe there WAS a little advice. But I wanted this to be more about what I HOPE to see.
I want to see more marriages last. I want others to realize that love is a choice, that falling out of love is just a bad reason for divorce. It just is. If people keep up at this rate, and divorce every time they fall out of love.... pretty soon we'll ALL know 10-12+ friends and family that have been divorced 5+ times just because they fell out of love.
Give love time to grow, because it WILL.
This is love:
1 Corinthians 13
New American Standard Bible (NASB)
The Excellence of Love
13 If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body [a]to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 [b]bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of [c]prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part; 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. 11 When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I [d]became a man, I did away with childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror [e]dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. 13 But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the [f]greatest of these is love.
^From BibleGateway
Hopefully my friends and I can join together. They have both been married longer than me so I'd like to get their takes on this all too important subject as well!
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