Joyful June: God's Whisper

As I recover from surgery... Joyful June came at the PERFECT moment. This month of finding joy in something every day has blessed not only others who have sent me messages thanking me, but it's blessed me. I'm thankful and... well... joyful in that! lol

I'm rediscovering who I am as a person and who I am in Christ.

6 months ago in Dec I made a vow to stay single. During this time I went on one double date which was a blind date, but to me it was just a friend thing. When I make a vow or promise to anyone, especially God I take it VERY seriously. So seriously that I only trusted a couple of people with this...people that have prayed with me. I'm human I've had crushes during this 6 months but more than anything I used these 6 months to focus on me. I've grown as a woman of God...and I'm amazed at the things God has taught me...

But He isn't done with me yet. My 6 month single vow runs it's course and wraps in just a few days. This doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to date someone. I'm not. I'm not done focusing on me. But I'm also not going to shut people out like I had been anymore.

God has shared with me new passions and old passions alike. He has brought back to my life the desire to write. He has brought back my desire to craft. He's taught me the right times to say "no" and the times to be "too kind."

God's whisper isn't audible, but it's soft and it's STILL guiding me. I am who I am and I celebrate that just as we all should but I hope and pray that I never stop growing and following God's calling in my life.

The coming months are bringing a lot of change in my life. I'm finally stepping up and going to do something to help my dreams become a reality. It's time to be the strong and power woman that God has created me to be.

Today I feel joyful for God's whisper :)

Joyful June: Chivalry isn't extinct, but it is endangered!

Welcome to Joyful June. This post has been on my mind since Monday, when I went to my knee doctor to get my stitches out.

Whenever I travel to my knee doctor, I always come across an adventure and a large number of guys who ask me "what happened to your knee? I can totally relate to the crutches. I'm sorry" And if we're near doors or anything, these guys are very kind and open the door for me.

On Monday as I entered the Doctors office I was met by two different kinds of men. Who saw me coming and quickly got inside the building and quickly went into the elevator. Now this elevator is glass so, they could still see me, and I could still see them. And they were pointing and LAUGHING and I heard one of them say something about me not getting on the elevator because i was slow.

Rude much? The worst part? These were not YOUNG men they were at least in their 30s or 40s! I was shocked at their behavior. But I went on, mom and I waited for the next elevator, signed in and went to my appointment, got my stitches out and I left in a much better mood. As we walked toward the elevator, about the same distance as I was coming up FOR the appointment... And this older man (possibly in his 50s) and his son (a little younger than me) HELD THE ELEVATOR open for me. When we got in the young man started talking to me about my knee, and we had a good short convo, then as we left, mom and I were deciding whether to stay in or brave the rain, the man and his son waited a moment then, once again, held the doors for us! Wished us a good journey and we did the same for them. Thanked them a bunch and went our separate ways! My heart was happy and full because it was then that I realized... Chivalry isn't completely dead... it's not extinct... but it IS endangered.

When I saw that that man had brought up his son to be a gentlemen I was so pleased and impressed...but still felt a sadness and shame for those other me, the ones that laughed! Did someone never teach them what it is to be a gentlemen? Did they ignore the lessons? What happened there?

Then it got me thinking... I'm a bit of a tom boy, as a last ditch effort to have me become a lady when I was in high school, my mom had me go to etiquette classes with a friend of mine. Well, I ignored some of those lessons, kept my tom boy ways... and recently (a few months ago), I dug through my memory and brought those lessons back to my attention, and finally, 10-12 years later I've learned them, because I WANTED to. If Chivalry is endangered so is the art of being a lady! We should fight for BOTH to stay alive in our young people, my generation included or we'll have men and women with an unkindness that is not fitting of gentlemen or ladies. If we don't work NOW to change this... by the time this generation of teens are our 30-40 year olds Chivalry WILL BE extinct and that world would be a VERY SCARY world!

The Joyful part of this post is: Chivalry ISNT dead and there IS still hope! Train the little boys to open the doors for girls, to pull out their chairs to never laugh at a woman in pain. Teach them to share a smile, and even conversation with a young woman, to brighten her day. Teach them manners. Teach young ladies the proper line between being a tom boy and being a lady! It's okay to be into sports, enjoy things that guys enjoy, but don't have tooting and burping contests with the boys!

My personal joyful part of this post is my thankfulness for that man and his son! For their kindness to my mother and I! There is joy in even the smallest moments and it warms my heart to know that there are some kind men still around! It's a blessing! :)

Mirror May to Joyful June

Well Mirror May has come to a close, I see myself and the ones I care for even clearer then I did before and I've loved this month but now it's on to a new month, and a new theme.

JOY.

This month is called Joyful June and it's all about finding the Joyful things in life this month, celebrating the joyful things even on the bad days because we all have them...but it makes life so much better when you look at the joy in the midst of the sorrow! I'm excited about this month and I hope you join me!

This post is a bit shorter and hopefully I'll be back soon! Have a wonderful June and I look forwarding to posting about the joyous things in life! :)

Mirror May: Alone

Alone, This has been me lately. I made a commitment to write about the friends and family I see in my mental mirror in my facebook mirror may posts but... to be honest it's hard to write about people you don't see there...

In most aspects of my life I've felt alone, disrespected and just... out of the loop. There has been 1 maybe 2 friends that have been there for me lately, and of course God...but other than that. It's been just me. I'm thankful for the 2 people who have been a support to me, don't get me wrong it is because of them that I've held on to a little happiness. But I have vowed to be honest in these posts so that's what you are getting.

I'm stressed and feeling alone... I know we all reach that point sometimes and I'm there right now.

I'm writing this post to ask for prayer but also to show people that it is possible to feel SO alone when others think you have so much support... Be there for for people despite the fact that you think they wont need it. Chances are...they do.

Mirror May: He's Everywhere

I just came back from Nashville recently. A cheap, short, vacation, but much needed one just the same...but what I found in Nashville is something I really didn't expect.

My dad was EVERYWHERE. The household I grew up in was one in which my father constantly talked about wanting to take me places...and when I was younger we traveled a lot, Virginia Beach, Myrtle Beach, and many other places...we were constantly going on adventures, then as I got older we took less trips... early on in my dads cancer he had talked about taking me to Chicago, New York, Florida, California, and Nashville... he wanted to take me so many places and never got the chance. After he died I became a person that never thought I'd get to do any of the things I wanted, then in college I was able to go to Chicago, Florida, and California. Then last Oct. I went to New York, and finally most recently I went to Nashville. I've felt my dad with me on all these trips but this one... this one I felt him with me the WHOLE time.

We went to Ryman, I felt him there... My father is the one that introduced me to music, especially the older musicians, country and otherwise. He and my mom are the ones that introduced me to the music I still love today, music that was from their times. Then at the Grand Ole Opry, standing on the circle... I felt him then... I knew he was with me, asking me to sing with him again...

Then came the Belle Meade Plantation... More history and he was there too...He loved all those old civil war stories and I could feel him walking that tour with me, smiling, so interested in the stories...

My father passed down his love of history and his love of music with me...and I miss him so much right now. It's stronger than it's been in a while...maybe because I'm following in his footsteps and catching up with him on knee surgeries (though none of mine have been replacements at this point...) All I know is...I can feel him. I'm scared about my surgery, and about life in general but I know my daddy is with me and I'm so thankful for all the things he taught me and the loves he brought to my attention!  My father was an amazing man and I was blessed to have him in my life for 15 years.

Until next time...

Mirror May- Transparent

As I go through this Mirror May I am quickly realizing that to be truly honest, and get my point across, I HAVE to be transparent. I have to share the good, bad and the ugly.

Today's facebook post was probably the most transparent I've gotten this month.

I don't like talking about the judgments that many people have put on me. But it's part of my walk.

People who first meet me think that I've had it easy. Since I was a child I've had a smile on my face. I used to and still try to find the good in EVERYTHING. Whenever I talk about my situations in life I say "I've worn them well."

Even family has told me that dad dying wasn't a big deal because he died years ago. The thing is. I still grieve that loss deeply. My dad died when I was 15 years old, before most big moments in a girls life. He wasn't physically present at my sweet 16, my high school graduation, my college graduation, and if I get married one day... he wont be there. It HURTS. To know that my daddy wont be present during moments when a father should be there. I've learned to cope but I may never "get over it."

I've been called a drama queen because of my tender heart, been told that I second guess myself too much. and I'm constantly prejudged, just like we all are. I've learned to shrug these things off but they happen a lot.

But honestly please don't judge a persons life, saying they've had it easy when you DONT know. If you weren't there walking with them, or havent experienced their path in anyway... know that we ALL have hard times and they are different levels of hurt for EVERYONE because we ALL handle things differently.

My heart hurts for so many tonight as I think of the people that are prejudged...

And I think of Meg in Glass Girl (a great book I've read, from Playlist Fiction, check it out on Amazon for Kindle. It's by Laura Anderson Kurk) She went through a difficult time, but she spent time hiding the hurt, because that was best for her at the time... She went through her grief, and found her path...found friends, and stood up for the truths that she knew... As I read it, I felt like a glass girl too, I could totally relate to her and I still can. Theres a glass girl in all of the hurting, I think...


This is me being transparent and true, saying we all have moments of hurting, and we all handle them different. Don't harshly judge ANYONE because you never know what they are going through.

Mirror May: What do you see?

Mirror Mirror on the wall...

Do we see the same things at all?

I've always been amazed at the concept of looking into the mirror and seeing the truth. I've always heard "Mirrors never lie" While that may true... when we look in the mirror we see whats worst about ourselves. Just a few days ago I had an extremely cute outfit on, no makeup on, and my hair was up. My mother and grandmother both told me how beautiful I was...instead of responding I looked straight ahead into the mirror... My mouth dropped open and I responded with "Oh no, thank you but... My face is SO blotchy!"

Couldn't a simple thank you work? Apparently not. I realized later that they were right, I AM beautiful, imperfections and all...but my goodness, I don't have to point out my imperfections because the thing is... with the help of mirrors we're often our own worst critics.

The next time you look in the mirror, say 5 things you like about yourself, and if you can't find something on the outside (lets face it, some days we just cant) name things on the inside.

What do you see when you look at yourself?

My 5 things today are:

My smile, I LOVE my smile.
My eyes, sometimes they annoy me but I love when they are a deep dark brown
My butterfly tank top, I have GREAT taste in clothes ;)
My goofy facial expressions because it shows how silly I am
The fact that I'm covered in paint after painting the swing that my mother didn't ask me to paint, I just did it to help out.

What do I see when I look at myself? Someone that has a heart to help others see their own worth, and someone who works daily to see her own worth.

It's a journey, we've got societies view of beauty against us, we don't need the added pressure of seeing ourselves negatively in a mirror....

"Mirror Mirror on the wall,

Do we see the same things at all?"

"I look on the outside, it's all I can see,

Sometimes you cannot just rely on me.

Tell me the things you like about yourself the most...

Perhaps you and I both...can focus on those."

You are loved, beautiful, amazing, awesome, and just a cool cat! Don't forget it ;)