Christmas

Well, It's Christmas day! So first and foremost I hope you have all had a very Merry Christmas.

I've been surrounded with so many wonderful people who enjoy surprising me with gifts of my favorite things. Duckie things, teacup puzzles, tea, chocolate, movies, jewelry, and even shoes. It's been a blessing filled Christmas.

I'm not going to lie, this Christmas has been full of a lot of rough moments too but mom and I are trying to get through. I've become restless, unable to sit still for more than 5 minutes at a time, but because of that I've gotten A LOT done.

I did the Feast of St. Thomas single ladies thing on Dec 21st. Though I DID have a dream (google Feast of Saint Thomas) I don't know what it was about... or who.

OH! My headaches are doing a little better as well...

I'm looking forward to the new year, starting a list of things that I want to get done in 2015, also will be singing in front of people for the first time in 4 years on Dec. 28... Nervous about that one.

Hows everyone else doing? Much love and blessings to you and yours.

Cranberry Bliss

It's winter, which means it's cold.
It's Christmas time, which means so many Christmas miracles are happening.
This is the time of year where so many good things happen, you see God's love in places you don't normally see it.
People that often  seem invisible are now very visible to the eyes as many.

There is also so much sadness, bad things happen to a lot of people during this time. Bad memories resurface.

The world stops and moves on all at once and by Jan 1st your not sure how you lost so much time, but had so much time for so many things. It's beautiful and confusing in one breath.

This is my life right now, worry, and strength, sadness and bliss, blessings and stress...

I often think this must have been how Mary and Joseph felt before Jesus was born. That stress and worry through at the beginning, a sadness looming even though something amazing would happen soon... Mary's strength, then Joseph's as he stepped up. The bliss that came and the blessing that was Jesus... all these mixed up feelings that leave you wondering, where did the time go, and what now? But then that strength comes again and helps you through, the strength of God. It's beautiful and powerful and it is there for us all. there for the taking if we want it, if we reach for it.

I'm praying for you, my friends.

Musings

Well it's been a little over a month since my last post. Which means... a few things actually. Number 1: I'm SUCH a slacker! I'm sorry. Things have been crazy this fall. Two trips up norther (yes...norther) Pumpkin Show, for one of those trips, then I've been spending a lot of time trying to sell jewelry and spending time with friends. I've found a wonderful new church that I've been visiting. The people there are just wonderful and I'm blessed to have met them and made that connection.

Beyond that, I've traded in my tea once again, this time for Ale 8 because I've had an upset stomach. Stress will do that to a person, don't you think?

I've been learning a lot more about Health with my gluten allergy. I've also been on a quest of bettering myself, and I figure since it's about to be winter I might try to do a post or two about different beauty techniques I've adopted into my life. A lot of people ask me how I get my complexion, or my soft skin. I don't use Mary Kay, Avon or any of that. Though I LOVE their products, have used them before and they are great, but I've learned that with my skin I can't use many store bought things, so I make scrubs, shampoo, body wash, and make or buy homemade soaps. I've got a friend that makes the best soap, Soggy Badger is the name of her business and she's got GREAT products. Anyway, I was just thinking about sharing some of the things I'm learning and trying. and since not a lot of people read my blog, you'll be one of the few that finds out the things I've learned ;)

Until then, I need to go. I've got some books to put up and even some books to find. Such is the life of a kid at heart. Blessings! 

Autumn

So it's that time of year! Pumpkins, changing and falling leaves, fuzzy socks are finally coming out of hiding, and the smell and feel of autumn is in our midst and I love it.

I'm not a huge fan of winter, the cold and snow, and all that just do not make this girl a happy camper, but fall is before all that madness, and that...I love.

Today I'm trading in my tea for apple cider, as I update my vlog and my blog. It's a beautiful relaxing feeling knowing that fall is here, and I'm enjoying each moment of it as I get ready for the cold to take over. I've enjoyed a day of video games and calmness in  the midst of this crazy busy thing we call life. Because for just one moment I get to enjoy my favorite season. It's a beautiful picture, don't you think?

Convictions and Gluten Trouble

Brace yourselves, this is going to be a long one!

A lot has been going on this past weekend. I'll start off by talking about the gluten thing. I have no doubt in my mind that I'm now Celiac instead of Gluten sensitive/intolerant. I used to be able to handle small amounts and now I can't even handle a small piece of communion bread. It's nightmarish.

With this sudden, abrupt, and difficult change in my diet, others in my circle are having to also adjust, but many in my circle havent received it well. I've been judged and glared out. People don't appreciate that I HAVE to bring my own gluten free option to community dinners. I have to take care of myself so that I'm not feeling deprived. Depression can often come with ANY TYPE of change in diet and I really don't appreciate people telling me I'm in the wrong or that it's MY DUTY to help others see a healthier way of eating. I cannot and will not carry the  whole worlds burdens on my shoulders, I have enough going on in my own world, too much of my own world to defend against the judgmental glances of others.

How would you feel if you had an allergy and you knew no one else would bring something gluten free so you had to, then when you did people were rude to you about it?! Probably not too happy. But you know what, I'm getting through it and it's all fine. I just said that to say, be careful who you judge and why you judge. It's not our place.

Next... I'm very open and honest about my personal convictions, we ALL have personal convictions. These are convictions God puts on our hearts personally. Other people may not get them or understand them but YOU do, because it's YOURS. I have always been a person that has looked to God for guidance in everything including convictions he's already placed on my heart. I ALWAYS listen to what God has to say but I do not listen to people when they tell me they don't agree with my convictions. A. They don't understand it. B. It's none of their business.

One of my biggest convictions, that was actually confirmed by more than one of my college professors is that I will not volunteer in a youth ministry or childrens ministry. I got a degree in it, and I will not volunteer because if I ever get a job in it, that should be my lively hood and volunteering will more often then not get me stuck in a bigger rut than I'm already in. In good conscience I cannot do that. You may not agree with it, but it's not about you.

Now, that being said, that does not mean I do not mentor young people. There are several young people in my church and outside of my church that look up to me. Young women who consider me their mentor.

I made a point recently that God does call some people to volunteer, but he doesn't call everyone to volunteer. This was shot back with the comment "he calls everyone to serve" Serving and volunteering are different. I don't volunteer in youth ministries but I serve in other ways. I serve in my churches technology team, I serve by mentoring young people, I serve by teaching Bible Study when I'm healthy enough to have it in my home.

But I will not stand to be interrupted and judged (even unintentionally) by someone who wont even listen. When you don't give me a chance to explain without jumping to conclusions don't expect me to just take it without getting upset. I took classes on preaching I know what it looks and sounds like and I will not let you tell me my conviction is wrong when you don't know my PERSONAL relationship with God. Just like I wont tell you how to live your life for Christ.

Rant over. Just...be careful.

We Remember

Today is a day that will be full of an overload of posts from people remembering where they were 9/11/01. I already made a post about it on facebook so I'm not going to rehash all that. I will say that everyone has a different memory and mine brings forth a bunch of different ones to follow in the next few days.

Life has changed a lot in the last 13 years for everyone, in this country especially. It's almost hard to talk about it. So instead we pray. Today is a day of pensive thought. This is a short post... I'm just so much in thought that I can't get it out. More later, perhaps.

"Why are you obsessed with brains?"

"Why are you so obsessed with brains?" It's a question I get asked a lot.

Many who know me know that I was diagnosed with a brain disorder called Agenisis of the Corpus Callosum (ACC) with I was 20 years old. I was actually born with it and they didn't find out until then.

The cliff notes version to what ACC is: Agenisis of the Corpus Callosum means that someone is born with the Corpus Callosum (bridge to both sides of the brain, the connector piece in the brain) either completely or partially missing. This causes a number of problems. Though some with ACC are known as "high functioning" and others may not be able to walk or talk or do much of anything for themselves.

Before you read any further, know that I've heard before the whole "well I'd never known if you hadn't told me." that might be true, instead you'd have labeled my ACC moments as me being weird, or stupid or blonde. I've heard it all trust me. I was bullied all through school because I didn't fit in and THIS, my ACC was why.

Of course, my "obsession", my interest in the brain didn't start with my ACC diagnoses. I studied the brain in my gifted class way back in middle school. It ALWAYS fascinated me. I remember getting those discovery kids magazines back when I was little. I still have them, and the brain issue... it's a little more beat up than all the others because I devoured the info in it.

But with my diagnoses, I did get even more interested in the brain and how it works. That was my favorite part of my general psychology class in college. For example did you know that doctors will actually remove the CC from someones brain in order to stop seizures, but some with ACC actually struggle with having seizures? WOW!

So yes, I have a brain shaped eraser, stress ball, pen, and key chain, yes, I have a squishy brain model, a grow your own brain science thing, a brain bank... I LOVE brains. It's amazing to see just how different brains work, with or without the corpus callosum. So, I might be a little obsessed, brains mean something to me. It's fun! :P