Wednesday, February 04, 2015

Camp and Tea

As I sit hear waiting for my yummy Lady Grey tea to steep so that I can transport my mind to the simple days, possibly to London, I listen to music and my thought process changes.

In February of 2001 my father was diagnosed with Leukemia. For 7 months I went through deep depression and had to grow up very fast. In May of that same year my mother broke her arm badly, so it was me and my two parents. During the summer between 9th and 10th grade I longed for an escape, so when school started back I was so excited. It became my escape from my home life of taking care of my parents, not sleeping well because I would stay up late and cry. Then September 2001 came around and my dark world got even darker. My father died. I was devastated and angry at God.

I remember the countless shouting "matches" where I shouted at God and let him have it. Wondering why he took my dad, how he could do that to my mom and I, and what he was going to do to us now. 3 years went by, I was doing what I could to make God as angry at me as I was at him (of course I know that makes no sense but not much does when you are depressed and angry.)

Then In June of 2004, just after I graduated High School my grandfather, the new male influence in my life that took up that torch after dad died, got very sick. At this point my anger had eased and I was looking for answers in a much calmer fashion. Somewhere in the midst of all of this I found Jeremy Camp's music. I also had bought his dvd "In 24" and heard his testimony about his first wife who died of cancer in 2001. It was in that moment, learning his story and realizing mine that I called out to God. I asked Him to help me come back to Him. My grandfather was sick and I wanted to be there for him. So I had a church Hymnal that I took when I visited my grandfather and I would sing to him. I even asked a family member that wasn't close to many of us to sing with me.

My heart was slowly healing, and I knew that God was using Jeremy Camp in my life. I joined his street team and message board. Through the years I haven't been as involved in his ministry but there are still those songs that bring me comfort and healing.

For Christmas this year my Aunt bought me a cd with four of his new songs, pre-ordering the whole new cd for me. It came out yesterday. I'm going through a very hard time right now being rejected from yet another job, not knowing what to do with my life, having major writers block and meeting a great guy but only being friends with that guy, then struggling with the whole Celiac and being accepted thing. Finding a new wonderful church and not being able to go to it right now... Even the small things have been getting me down. But I listened to this cd and it's just been a blessing in my life.

Songs like He Knows: This song talks about the pain and doubt we experience in this life and how God knows, He knows all of it. It talks about lifting our eyes to the One who knows. This song is powerful simply because knowing someone is out there that knows our pain, that will listen, that will support us as we fall to our knees... WOW.

We Are The Dreamers: This song is about the Christians dream, A dream of others coming to Christ, of seeing miracles. It calls us, the dreamers to rise to our feet and proclaim the name of Jesus. It's a wonderful anthem for Christians as the want to follow Christ.

Christ In Me: This one is calling Christ to be in us, to have our focus be on Him so that others focus on Him when they see us. It's a great song for anyone looking for the Holy Spirit to live in them.

Same Power: Ah! This is one of my favorites... it's a beautiful picture of Christ followers coming together. It talks about the Same Power that did all those miracles in the Bible lives in us. Beautiful!!

Here I Am: "You are waiting for us to move" Is the start of this song. This one is about a person telling God "Here I am" Saying we're there to do His will. Another favorite of mine.

Other songs on this album that are just as wonderful are: Living Word, I Will Follow (You Are With Me), Finally Home, 'Til The End, Can't Be moved, Only In You.

If you are looking for an album that calls out to the different ways a person can fill sometimes this is the album for you. Beautifully written and amazingly song by one of God's warriors Jeremy Camp. Recommended by me.

Now to warm up that tea and get to drinking it.

You are amazing!


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