Birthdays, Christmas, and Church! Oh My!

Very recently I just celebrated my 28th birthday and started on my 28th year of life. This is a bitter sweet age for me. I'm happy to have another year of life but at the age of 28, when I was younger I always thought I'd be married with a family and a full time job, Not living with my mom struggling to find work, and confused about whether or not I have a prospect. I'm doing my very best to be happy in life where I am at. In a few weeks my life is about to change for the negative again, unless I can find another thing to do. So I'm working hard at that. Which is keeping me WAY too busy, but honestly I love it.

Ooh and Jane Austen's Birthday is coming on Dec 16th! Tea Party and Jane Austen marathon anyone? So excited!

Christmas is coming! I look forward to more things with my family both real family and church family. So far I've been to a Christmas Tea Party at a near by church, that was fun! Then I went to our Church Candlelight tour! I love spending time with all the people in my church and the other surrounding churches! Next is my own churches Candlelight service and possibly Caroling! I just love this season.

I'm really enjoying this Devotion December! It's been a blessing to write a devo and prayer every day and pray for all the requests that were sent to me!

A lot of people seem very sad that I'm not doing a theme year next year. These themes and posts take a LOT of time. 2013 was a busy and full year thanks to these themes but it's time for me to actually get out and live! I was able to do a lot with these themes and be there for a lot of people. I'm so thankful for that! I also lost a lot of friends through this theme year. Which is fine. They didn't want to hear it, they didn't have to. 2014 is going to my year though, I'm determined to finally get settled. Maybe finish my writing projects (all 5 or 6 of them lol) Find a full time job, find a significant other (lol) and actually spend my time with good friends that understand me and wont use me (I've got to find them first, that live close by) Perhaps I'll move! lol The possibilities are endless but I REALLY have to figure out my life.

Things to cover

Well, in the last month I did the "Thankful November" thing and I've  now started on "Devotion December" This is my month of prayer and I'm also writing devotions for each day of December. After this month I will have completed an entire year of theme months! How crazy is that?! A WHOLE YEAR! Technically I've already reached a year but I'm talking Calender year. I started these themes last November, but decided to do them the ENTIRE year of 2013 and what a great year for this it's been. I've learned a lot about me and also the people around me.

I have lost friendships this year and gained some as well. God is good and I'm constantly growing.

I have to be honest though, I am hoping very hard that 2014 is full of bigger changes for me. A full time job, a significant other, and moving out of my moms house are just the start of the things I want in 2014. I'm ready. Question is, is the world ready for me? I sure hope so!

I've been doing a part time job since October and start more part time work this month. I'm ready to get my jewelry making name out there.

Hopefully I'll be blogging more too. I'm trying to finish a story that I'm working on. Also trying to finish reading the now 11 books I have on my reading list by the end of the year. Not going to happen but hopefully I'll finish half of that! haha

I'm going to try and get back on my diet and exercise routine and finish decorating for Christmas. Life is just crazy. Happy Holidays though Folks. Sending love and prayers your way.

Nomad

As I continue to be in my contemplative state, I look around and wonder "where is it that I belong?" I think of the overly romantic couples of which I don't belong and how often you'll hear the significant other say "you belong with me." This happens in movies and real life, but hasn't happened to me.

I think about my place in this life. How life constantly changes but for me it has seemed to be the same. I long to travel, I long for change, besides some minor opportunities that I am in no way complaining about and am SO thankful for, I am getting none of what I desire.

I think of my fathers favorite song "Wandering Star" And I know I can relate. I want to wander, I want to travel.

I looked up the word nomad for this blog post:

1. A member of a group of people who have no fixed home and move according to the seasons from place to place in search of food, water, and grazing land.

2. A person with no fixed residence who roams about; a wanderer.

I'm not by literal definition a nomad. However I feel like a nomad in this life. no place that I belong I just roam about and wander. 

I do have a friend or two that I feel like I belong in this life with... 

My dad did a cover/mashup of the songs Wandering Star and Desperado and I'd say that accurately describes me right now. 

Thoughts

I've been in a very contemplative state of mind lately. Almost non stop.

I've been crafting, writing, cleaning, and working.
Yes, WORKING! I'm helping out at a local office and getting paid for the work I do! I'm so excited!

My crafts I'm almost getting into full swing. I am working on a tree skirt for my grandmothers Christmas tree, and my writing... I'm finally getting somewhere now that I've changed my direction.

Cleaning just calms me so thats why I've been doing it.

Anyway I've been thinking about friendships and how they fade, how people and lives change...

More than that I've been struggling with not fitting in. It's been a tough road but I'll get through it, I always do.

I'm not being too transparent because I don't want to share too many details about all thats going on. But I am changing and things in my life are changing! So here we go!!

The Movement

From the time I was a child I had big hopes and dreams about being a world changer. First I wanted to be an inventor, then I wanted to be a singer, by the time I was in high school I decided Dentist, and by the time I graduated I had this amazing plan to do beauty school, music school, then go to school for massage therapy. All of this because I had this desire to help people. By the time I finally went to college I had decided to become a journalist, and then my freshman year that all changed when I realized Youth Ministry was in my path.

I have since graduated, not worked in youth ministry, and I don't do anything with music anymore. I have worked with 3 local coalitions for diabetes, cancer, and drug recovery, I promote a lot of bands and also some of my author friends books, I make jewelry that makes people smile... I'm still helping people.

Throughout college I also had an organization called ACCAA for ACCers like myself, and then two months ago I was diagnosed with hypothyroid so I've joined that awareness wagon also.

On top of all of that, I want to help young women see their beauty and their worth. So I created LLLTD (Live love laugh, tackle your problems, and be determined.) Nothing much has happened with that but that hasn't stopped me from wanting to try.

I also show my support to things like St. Judes, Project Beauty, Livestrong, and Love is Louder. I desperately want to be part of something big like that because I want to help. There is a growing movement of love and kindness, I want to be part of this. I don't have to make a lot of money but I do want to spend my life doing something I love. I need a job and I need an area of this movement to call home, now to find it!

Lynnea's Thoughts From The Teapot!

As I sat here this morning I was just thinking to myself "what should I blog about this morning" and to be honest only one thing came to mind, and it's something I've not been able to get off of my mind for a few days now.

Have you ever met someone, a friend, family member or even significant other that without a doubt you KNEW "This person is important in my life. I know they'll be in it for a very long time."

My life is full of those people. When I was much younger, before the internet was as popular as it is now...when dial-up was the main source of internet-dom. I met this girl online who became one of my best friends. Through the years we've lost touch, we don't have to talk much, she's still quite important to me though. We're facebook friends so we do keep up with each other. But I remember thinking that about Jennifer and I know my life would be different had I not "met" her

Many years later I met other online friends that I've feel that way about: Labanya, Leah, Cody, Lisa, Jackie, Kay, Charissa, Sarah, Fiona, Christian, The Laura's, Katelyn, JoJo, Rajdeep Paulus, Stephanie Morrill, and Jennifer Murgia. The entire groups of Team Crowley and Playlist Fiction, actually. Then Lizzie, Tym, Dominique, Steph, and Brian who I've been fortunate enough to meet in person since I met them online.

Then there are others in my life that I've known that about too. My cousins Tonya, Keaton, and Lauren. My Aunt Kay, My previous boss: Anita. Mama Sue and her daughters, My entire group of college friends especially during the Reconciled days, and from that Stephanie C and her entire family! My friends Naomi, Kyla, Carla, Elaine, Matt, Elaina, and SO MANY OTHERS.

Finally I get to the people that have made me realize all of this recently. My best friends Katie and Daniel are a big part of this revelation as I know my life is so much better because they are in it. Then my "adopted" grandma who just went to be with the Lord... You will be missed.

This is my teapot of thoughts...I'm just so thankful for ALL of the people in my life. You've all (especially the ones mentioned here, and so many others) helped me in life more than you will ever know. Some of you were put in my life to save me, others of you just help me be a better person. You have helped me realize my dreams too. Thank you for being in my life and I only hope I can mean as much to you as you do me, some day.

A silly post about my name

I've always loved my name. It's unique and fun just like me! lol. For those of you who don't know it's pronounced like Renae but with an L. it goes well with this poem "Hey Lynnea, What do ya say? I hope you're okay! Have a good day!" Yeah... I heard that most of my childhood and even some of my adulthood from my crazy goofy friends!

But my name goes great with a lot of things. I used to say the pool we had when I was younger was the "Lynneaic Ocean." Sometimes I've even been known to joke about a book in the Bible: "Lynneaquesis!"  If someone seems to read my mind or something like that I say they have a good "Lynneadar." When I would say crazy things I would say I was speaking "Lynneainese."

A few of my family and friends joined in and used to call the Linoleum in my home "Lynnealeum" And Lemonade became "Lemonae" in my family.

My name just awesomely sounds fun with all these things. However, nothing is perfect... no, the one thing I could never do is do the Name Game song with my name. Seriously... try it, it's horrible. "Lynnea Lynnea bo bynnea, banana fanana fo fynnea, Me Mi Mo Mynnea, Lynnea." I just have never liked it, it's so hard to sing. It just doesn't flow. That makes me sad but the good thing is, when you have an ocean, a Bible book, a language, a floor surface, a drink and a radar named after you, who needs the Name Game.

Lynn Lynn bo Bynn, Banana Fanana fo Fynn, Me Mi Mo Mynn, Lynn

Nea Nea bo Bea, Banana Fanana for Fae, Me Mi Mo Mae, Nea.

^ Okay I can live with that last one!

Lynnea signing off

Come back next time to see what else I've renamed,

Lynneatopia? Naaaaah. 

The Ramblings of Lynnea

A dear family friend just passed away and the news of their passing has left me in a very pensive state. As I cry about them, knowing that one I WILL see them again... I still am saddened by their passing...

I've been watching some movies of beautiful love stories. Stories that are both sad and happy. And I've been reflecting on one of my favorite books by Nicholas Sparks: The Rescue.

Like most girls I've grown up wanting true love. My parents had that strong love like that, and so did the marriage of the person that just passed away... I've seen that true, strong love my whole life, with my grandparents, and my brother and sister-in-law have it. My cousins have married men and woman that they have that kind of love with... And I've always wanted that.

But I'm 27 years old and the older I get the less I think that will happen for me. This breaks my heart. But then I watch movies like a walk to remember and I think about my parents and I still have a glimmer of hope.

True love isn't perfect, strong love isn't perfect. It all comes with a large amount of humanity. But it's still nice and it IS worth fighting for. It takes a lot of hard work.

When I was watching A Walk To Remember I thought of the fact that Jamie brought out the best in Landon, but HE brought out the best in her too. When she finally told him she was dying,  after he got over the shock he knew they still were meant to be together for as long as she was on this earth. He fought to prove to her that he wasn't going anywhere. She believed him and they STILL helped each other grow. That is true love! That is what I want.

As with everyone I have things in my life that aren't perfect. I want that kind of love and it is SO hard to find. What I usually find is a guy that thinks he knows more about life and faith than I do. I find the guys that want to control me or that want to cling to me. I want a guy that I respect and one that loves me for me. Maybe one day... but for now I'll think of the loves I know of both fictional and in real life.

I also want to say to the family of the family friend we've lost that I am praying for you. I know this woman was wonderful and touched so many lives. She touched mind and I will miss her dearly. 

Nashville, Jane Austen, and Harry Potter OH MY!

This year has been both one of the hardest years of my life and one of the best adventure wise.

In May I went to Nashville with my friend Carla and we got to experience a lot of history, and met some WONDERFUL people. I loved it! Then a couple of weeks later I had a ligament reconstruction surgery (MPFL)

Then in July I went to the Jane Austen Festival in Louisville, KY with my Mom and my best friend Katie! We were in our element with the regency dresses, the bonnets, the tea, and the Jane Austen. Honestly I didn't want to leave! I loved the parasols, the fans, and everything about meeting people of a like mind! It was just wonderful.

After a few months of down time just days ago I went to Loveland Castle in Ohio for a Harry Potter Event! Oh it was FANTASTIC! Carla and I went to this one, and We were sorted into our Hogwarts houses (I got gryffindor and she's hufflepuff) We met some of our favorite Characters, Remus and Tonks, Snape, Hagrid, and Nearly Headless Nick! It was such a wonderful time and we have so many memories from it!

If you have something you want to experience in life, just do it! Don't hold back! I love Jane Austen and Harry Potter... and going to these events and meeting fellow fans was just something I will never regret and never forget! Then starting in October a year ago I went to New York, then Nashville this year... two of my favorite cities! Again, making memories I'll always keep with me.

What are the things you enjoy? Go, experience them! :)

Until Next time,

Lynnea, Gryffindor, Austen Lover :) 

"The Dinosaur That Pooped..."

I know, I know! "Ew! What is she about to talk about" is going through your mind right now! "The Dinosaur that pooped... WHAT exactly?" It sounds gross and many of you will probably think it is.

About a year ago I was deeply intrigued when I found out that two members my favorite British band were releasing a book. Of all things it was about a Dinosaur. If you know me well at all you know my crazy obsession with Dinos and Dragons and werewolves (oh my!) While I do try to be a lady most of the time, I grew up around boys, LOTS of boys. And that being said, for some reason I've always found the subject of poop amusing, an attribute that is rare in most females. One that I don't often admit but sometimes it just happens that I do admit it.

And this Dinosaur in their book POOPED CHRISTMAS! Yes A book about 3 things that I either love or find amusing! I "had" to get it, and due to it being affordable I was able to. I read it so much during Christmas time! So many people became a fan of this book! It's just that amusing!

Then this year they came out with "The Dinosaur That Pooped A Planet!" These books are well written and so funny! If you have a child that likes books that rhyme, and they like dinos and poo... well this is the book for you (or rather, THEM. But that didn't rhyme)

Both books are great for children or adults alike! I'm 27 years old and get a kick out of these books. You can buy them both on Amazon! Go check them out! The Dinosaur That Pooped Christmas, and The Dinosaur That Pooped a Planet, hopefully coming to a home near you! :) 

Catch up time

Oops it's been a while again.

August was a good theme month. It was all about Admiration. Then September was all about the Spiritual side of things. This month is Optimistic October.

I've had a crazy few months. By August I was finally on the good end of my knee surgery recovery. Then in September went to a Doctor about my Thyroid and was diagnosed with Hypothyroid. I'm now on medicine and trying to get my life back on track. I was once again turned down from a job I really wanted.

I also have called off having my Bible Study because no one showed up.

Life is hard sometimes but keep your head up you will get through. Thats what this month is all about, being optimistic despite the blah moments.

Bright sides of my life, I've got some of the best friends ever and an awesome mom, I've lost some weight and stopped biting my nails! I'm on a search for my path, what does God want me to do with my life? I'm writing more too. So we'll see if I'll be doing anything with that! I was trying to blog more, but with so many posts this year as opposed to previous years, I'm not doing all that bad, Hopefully I'll blog again before this month is out! ;) lol

A Princess

This month is Admiration August and I have spent a lot of time lately reading book 4 in the His Princess series. This morning as I was inspired to write a blog the first thing I thought of was "Princesses are to be admired." As Christians, it is my hope and prayer that we all admire God, as that is what we are here to do, admire Him and spread His love. But it's more than that.

If you've kept up with me this year you know that God has placed it on my heart that He wants His young women to be His Princesses! Close to the end of last year I started reading these devos called "His Princess" and they've helped mold me and helped me understand the concept of being HIS PRINCESS.

Typically fathers often call their daughters "princess" and I think that makes this concept easier to understand. Princesses have kind hearts, they show confidence, love, understanding...

As I have discovered this desire God has for us each to be His princesses I have learned that a lot of young women were never treated as princesses so they don't know how to receive this well... And I'm no exception to this rule. My dad for as long as he could treated me like his little Princess, but I was young when he started to get sick, about 8 years old... and when he started to get sick it was harder for him to treat me as his princess, because I had to start taking care of him. I don't remember much about my life before I had to start helping to care for my father. But I do know that the Proverbs 31 woman has princess like qualities as did QUEEN Esther, in the Bible (and remember she was chosen by GOD)

Here is a sweet video I found of a scene from The Princess Diaries 2 of a caring and confident Princess Mia sharing with a group of orphans just how to be a princess: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndEhclIZxso

About 8 months ago a dear friend of mine, Ashley Hargest, and I were talking about this thing that was on my heart and it just so happened that God had been putting it on her heart to write a blog post about it. I want to share that with you here, as she explains it even more in depth: http://ashleyradford.blogspot.com/2013/01/a-princess.html

After I read this blog I went out and did as she suggested... But the Tiara I bought was one of those foam ones that are less than a dollar at walmart! Then a couple of months later my mother gifted me a Tiara that she found at a consignment shop! It's beautiful, and it gets the message to me that I truly AM God's Princess and He wants me to feel that way, but more than that He wants me to ACT that way.

Being a Princess has never been more real to me but it's more about what I can do to help others than the way I feel but my Heavenly Father. My KING makes me feel so loved.

Be a Princess my female friends! And if you haven't yet check out the His Princess series of Devos http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=His%20Princess%20Devos

It's Been A While

Wow! I haven't posted since June! I am SO sorry. I'll try to make this a quick catch up.

The Month of July in my Theme months was all about Regeneration. Each day I picked a part of myself to regenerate and tied a little Doctor Who into the journey! It was a successful and blessing filled month.

This month is all about Admiration and next week starts my Adventure Admiration posts! I am SO excited about this journey this month. Sharing with each of my friends and family that I admire them and WHY I admire them but more than that, picking out famous people that I admire and sharing why there too.

In July I had an amazing journey with my best friend Katie and my mother. The three of us went to the Jane Austen festival in Louisville Kentucky and... WOW! It was such a blast! I didn't want to leave! But I learned so much and experienced so much and met some wonderful people! :)

Then after that a lot of crazy things started happening. My faith has been tested... I've made many decisions about some friendships in my life, gotten my heart broken, and been challenged in many ways. Life is finally starting to show some goodness once more and God has stuck with me through the whole journey. I feel blessed and honored that my Lord has been with me through this whole thing.

Another thing that's been going on. Next month will mark 12 years since my father died and in the last month I've missed him so much it's been close to unbearable! But I'm getting through and soon the day that marks 12 years will come and go. *sigh*

I'm going through a lot of different changes in my life, growing up and trying to become who God wants me to be and I'm excited about all of this!

OH! Next week I start a Bible Study for young adults! Can't wait for that one! :)

Well folks, until next time: Keep Calm, Drink tea and... Read Jane Austen! :)
Blessings,
-Lynnea

Joyful June: The Joys of children

In recent months I've spent a LOT of time with children. My best friend from High school has two kids that I LOVE to babysit. A best friend that I met in college has 2 beautiful children that I recently saw for the first time in a long time. Another friend of mine came by to hang out with his dog and kids recently. My cousins have brought their kids over to visit... and I ADORE children. They make life a gift.

A childs faith and smile make life absolutely worth while.

A few years ago I went on a missions trip and met the sweetest 5 year old. She is a missionary kid and has the sweetest faith. When she was a year or two older I saw her again, and I spent some time with her and her family. We were outside just playing with flowers and this young girl starts spinning. She asks me to spin with her. I got up in the middle of my college campus and in my early 20s started spinning sin circles with this child. And that's when I realized... Even as adults... knowing the world better... we need to fight to have the faith of a child. Spin in circles...find the joy in life even when you feel like you can't. Do the things you did as a child. Find joy in the simple things.

If you can, spin in circles randomly on a summer day. Smile at a stranger when you are shopping, Pick a wild flower and give it to someone you love. It may not be as cute as when you were a kid...but at least you are enjoying life. Watch a child that you know... see how they enjoy life and let them inspire you! It's beautiful.

I'll never forget that little girl and the other children in my life who have taught me things about life. Let a child teach you something... it'll change your life.

Be Joyful.

Joyful June: Recovery

Well today is a fabulous day. I woke up this morning ready to have my sheets on my bed washed, and I feeling like "prettying" myself up. So I painted my nails. Then I decided to start exercising my leg.

I did that 3 times today and I have to be honest, I feel amazing. Because I accomplished something big tonight. I have been trying to lift my leg up on my own for about a week now and I COULDNT do it. Then yesterday with assistance I was able to do it! Today I kept trying... And the first two times (this morning and this afternoon) I needed assistance then this evening I did it on my own, SEVERAL times! I have to be honest with you and say there was SO MUCH joy happening in that moment. Mom and I started screaming and I was crying happy tears! It felt so good to be able to do that... God is so good and I know that he is blessing my recovery. I look forward to the coming months!

I haven't shared this with many people but I was told yesterday at physical therapy that I was actually not healing well at first...that I was falling behind in therapy. But I'm suddenly catching up and hopefully will continue to!

Okay since I'm so happy I'm repeating myself I'm getting off of here! I think Its time for bed ;)

Joyful June: God's Whisper

As I recover from surgery... Joyful June came at the PERFECT moment. This month of finding joy in something every day has blessed not only others who have sent me messages thanking me, but it's blessed me. I'm thankful and... well... joyful in that! lol

I'm rediscovering who I am as a person and who I am in Christ.

6 months ago in Dec I made a vow to stay single. During this time I went on one double date which was a blind date, but to me it was just a friend thing. When I make a vow or promise to anyone, especially God I take it VERY seriously. So seriously that I only trusted a couple of people with this...people that have prayed with me. I'm human I've had crushes during this 6 months but more than anything I used these 6 months to focus on me. I've grown as a woman of God...and I'm amazed at the things God has taught me...

But He isn't done with me yet. My 6 month single vow runs it's course and wraps in just a few days. This doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to date someone. I'm not. I'm not done focusing on me. But I'm also not going to shut people out like I had been anymore.

God has shared with me new passions and old passions alike. He has brought back to my life the desire to write. He has brought back my desire to craft. He's taught me the right times to say "no" and the times to be "too kind."

God's whisper isn't audible, but it's soft and it's STILL guiding me. I am who I am and I celebrate that just as we all should but I hope and pray that I never stop growing and following God's calling in my life.

The coming months are bringing a lot of change in my life. I'm finally stepping up and going to do something to help my dreams become a reality. It's time to be the strong and power woman that God has created me to be.

Today I feel joyful for God's whisper :)

Joyful June: Chivalry isn't extinct, but it is endangered!

Welcome to Joyful June. This post has been on my mind since Monday, when I went to my knee doctor to get my stitches out.

Whenever I travel to my knee doctor, I always come across an adventure and a large number of guys who ask me "what happened to your knee? I can totally relate to the crutches. I'm sorry" And if we're near doors or anything, these guys are very kind and open the door for me.

On Monday as I entered the Doctors office I was met by two different kinds of men. Who saw me coming and quickly got inside the building and quickly went into the elevator. Now this elevator is glass so, they could still see me, and I could still see them. And they were pointing and LAUGHING and I heard one of them say something about me not getting on the elevator because i was slow.

Rude much? The worst part? These were not YOUNG men they were at least in their 30s or 40s! I was shocked at their behavior. But I went on, mom and I waited for the next elevator, signed in and went to my appointment, got my stitches out and I left in a much better mood. As we walked toward the elevator, about the same distance as I was coming up FOR the appointment... And this older man (possibly in his 50s) and his son (a little younger than me) HELD THE ELEVATOR open for me. When we got in the young man started talking to me about my knee, and we had a good short convo, then as we left, mom and I were deciding whether to stay in or brave the rain, the man and his son waited a moment then, once again, held the doors for us! Wished us a good journey and we did the same for them. Thanked them a bunch and went our separate ways! My heart was happy and full because it was then that I realized... Chivalry isn't completely dead... it's not extinct... but it IS endangered.

When I saw that that man had brought up his son to be a gentlemen I was so pleased and impressed...but still felt a sadness and shame for those other me, the ones that laughed! Did someone never teach them what it is to be a gentlemen? Did they ignore the lessons? What happened there?

Then it got me thinking... I'm a bit of a tom boy, as a last ditch effort to have me become a lady when I was in high school, my mom had me go to etiquette classes with a friend of mine. Well, I ignored some of those lessons, kept my tom boy ways... and recently (a few months ago), I dug through my memory and brought those lessons back to my attention, and finally, 10-12 years later I've learned them, because I WANTED to. If Chivalry is endangered so is the art of being a lady! We should fight for BOTH to stay alive in our young people, my generation included or we'll have men and women with an unkindness that is not fitting of gentlemen or ladies. If we don't work NOW to change this... by the time this generation of teens are our 30-40 year olds Chivalry WILL BE extinct and that world would be a VERY SCARY world!

The Joyful part of this post is: Chivalry ISNT dead and there IS still hope! Train the little boys to open the doors for girls, to pull out their chairs to never laugh at a woman in pain. Teach them to share a smile, and even conversation with a young woman, to brighten her day. Teach them manners. Teach young ladies the proper line between being a tom boy and being a lady! It's okay to be into sports, enjoy things that guys enjoy, but don't have tooting and burping contests with the boys!

My personal joyful part of this post is my thankfulness for that man and his son! For their kindness to my mother and I! There is joy in even the smallest moments and it warms my heart to know that there are some kind men still around! It's a blessing! :)

Mirror May to Joyful June

Well Mirror May has come to a close, I see myself and the ones I care for even clearer then I did before and I've loved this month but now it's on to a new month, and a new theme.

JOY.

This month is called Joyful June and it's all about finding the Joyful things in life this month, celebrating the joyful things even on the bad days because we all have them...but it makes life so much better when you look at the joy in the midst of the sorrow! I'm excited about this month and I hope you join me!

This post is a bit shorter and hopefully I'll be back soon! Have a wonderful June and I look forwarding to posting about the joyous things in life! :)

Mirror May: Alone

Alone, This has been me lately. I made a commitment to write about the friends and family I see in my mental mirror in my facebook mirror may posts but... to be honest it's hard to write about people you don't see there...

In most aspects of my life I've felt alone, disrespected and just... out of the loop. There has been 1 maybe 2 friends that have been there for me lately, and of course God...but other than that. It's been just me. I'm thankful for the 2 people who have been a support to me, don't get me wrong it is because of them that I've held on to a little happiness. But I have vowed to be honest in these posts so that's what you are getting.

I'm stressed and feeling alone... I know we all reach that point sometimes and I'm there right now.

I'm writing this post to ask for prayer but also to show people that it is possible to feel SO alone when others think you have so much support... Be there for for people despite the fact that you think they wont need it. Chances are...they do.

Mirror May: He's Everywhere

I just came back from Nashville recently. A cheap, short, vacation, but much needed one just the same...but what I found in Nashville is something I really didn't expect.

My dad was EVERYWHERE. The household I grew up in was one in which my father constantly talked about wanting to take me places...and when I was younger we traveled a lot, Virginia Beach, Myrtle Beach, and many other places...we were constantly going on adventures, then as I got older we took less trips... early on in my dads cancer he had talked about taking me to Chicago, New York, Florida, California, and Nashville... he wanted to take me so many places and never got the chance. After he died I became a person that never thought I'd get to do any of the things I wanted, then in college I was able to go to Chicago, Florida, and California. Then last Oct. I went to New York, and finally most recently I went to Nashville. I've felt my dad with me on all these trips but this one... this one I felt him with me the WHOLE time.

We went to Ryman, I felt him there... My father is the one that introduced me to music, especially the older musicians, country and otherwise. He and my mom are the ones that introduced me to the music I still love today, music that was from their times. Then at the Grand Ole Opry, standing on the circle... I felt him then... I knew he was with me, asking me to sing with him again...

Then came the Belle Meade Plantation... More history and he was there too...He loved all those old civil war stories and I could feel him walking that tour with me, smiling, so interested in the stories...

My father passed down his love of history and his love of music with me...and I miss him so much right now. It's stronger than it's been in a while...maybe because I'm following in his footsteps and catching up with him on knee surgeries (though none of mine have been replacements at this point...) All I know is...I can feel him. I'm scared about my surgery, and about life in general but I know my daddy is with me and I'm so thankful for all the things he taught me and the loves he brought to my attention!  My father was an amazing man and I was blessed to have him in my life for 15 years.

Until next time...

Mirror May- Transparent

As I go through this Mirror May I am quickly realizing that to be truly honest, and get my point across, I HAVE to be transparent. I have to share the good, bad and the ugly.

Today's facebook post was probably the most transparent I've gotten this month.

I don't like talking about the judgments that many people have put on me. But it's part of my walk.

People who first meet me think that I've had it easy. Since I was a child I've had a smile on my face. I used to and still try to find the good in EVERYTHING. Whenever I talk about my situations in life I say "I've worn them well."

Even family has told me that dad dying wasn't a big deal because he died years ago. The thing is. I still grieve that loss deeply. My dad died when I was 15 years old, before most big moments in a girls life. He wasn't physically present at my sweet 16, my high school graduation, my college graduation, and if I get married one day... he wont be there. It HURTS. To know that my daddy wont be present during moments when a father should be there. I've learned to cope but I may never "get over it."

I've been called a drama queen because of my tender heart, been told that I second guess myself too much. and I'm constantly prejudged, just like we all are. I've learned to shrug these things off but they happen a lot.

But honestly please don't judge a persons life, saying they've had it easy when you DONT know. If you weren't there walking with them, or havent experienced their path in anyway... know that we ALL have hard times and they are different levels of hurt for EVERYONE because we ALL handle things differently.

My heart hurts for so many tonight as I think of the people that are prejudged...

And I think of Meg in Glass Girl (a great book I've read, from Playlist Fiction, check it out on Amazon for Kindle. It's by Laura Anderson Kurk) She went through a difficult time, but she spent time hiding the hurt, because that was best for her at the time... She went through her grief, and found her path...found friends, and stood up for the truths that she knew... As I read it, I felt like a glass girl too, I could totally relate to her and I still can. Theres a glass girl in all of the hurting, I think...


This is me being transparent and true, saying we all have moments of hurting, and we all handle them different. Don't harshly judge ANYONE because you never know what they are going through.

Mirror May: What do you see?

Mirror Mirror on the wall...

Do we see the same things at all?

I've always been amazed at the concept of looking into the mirror and seeing the truth. I've always heard "Mirrors never lie" While that may true... when we look in the mirror we see whats worst about ourselves. Just a few days ago I had an extremely cute outfit on, no makeup on, and my hair was up. My mother and grandmother both told me how beautiful I was...instead of responding I looked straight ahead into the mirror... My mouth dropped open and I responded with "Oh no, thank you but... My face is SO blotchy!"

Couldn't a simple thank you work? Apparently not. I realized later that they were right, I AM beautiful, imperfections and all...but my goodness, I don't have to point out my imperfections because the thing is... with the help of mirrors we're often our own worst critics.

The next time you look in the mirror, say 5 things you like about yourself, and if you can't find something on the outside (lets face it, some days we just cant) name things on the inside.

What do you see when you look at yourself?

My 5 things today are:

My smile, I LOVE my smile.
My eyes, sometimes they annoy me but I love when they are a deep dark brown
My butterfly tank top, I have GREAT taste in clothes ;)
My goofy facial expressions because it shows how silly I am
The fact that I'm covered in paint after painting the swing that my mother didn't ask me to paint, I just did it to help out.

What do I see when I look at myself? Someone that has a heart to help others see their own worth, and someone who works daily to see her own worth.

It's a journey, we've got societies view of beauty against us, we don't need the added pressure of seeing ourselves negatively in a mirror....

"Mirror Mirror on the wall,

Do we see the same things at all?"

"I look on the outside, it's all I can see,

Sometimes you cannot just rely on me.

Tell me the things you like about yourself the most...

Perhaps you and I both...can focus on those."

You are loved, beautiful, amazing, awesome, and just a cool cat! Don't forget it ;)

Last Appreciation April post

I know there is only one more day of Appreciation April but lets be honest...I've not been a very good blogger this month... So I'm making this blog my last one for this month... but this post will cover a lot of ground.

Team Crowley/Crowley Brothers/ Steph Ciotta-

In October of 2010 I was introduced to the music of The Crowley Brothers by my dear friend Labanya. I quickly became a fan and was introduced to other fans of theirs. Team Crowley is where I've met many of my closest friends. To name a few- Fiona, Christian, Lizzie, Tym, Iulia, Dominique, and there are MANY others... Then through knowing about the Crowley Brothers I learned about Steph Ciotta's music.

The Crowley Brothers and Steph may or may not know about this, but after I graduated College I was fighting depression because I couldn't find a job, I no longer had a place to belong but through Team Crowley I found a new place... So through that I appreciate ALL of Team Crowley, The Crowley Brothers, and Steph Ciotta and I'm thankful for the opportunity to have met 6 of these awesome people in person.

These people have become a community, a family to me. My brothers and sisters...and as some of them call me "mama" I guess I should say "daughters" too :)

ACCers- I've touched on my ACC (Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum) a lot in past posts, But I want to dedicate this section of this post to my fellow ACCers. When I was diagnosed with ACC almost 7 years ago my heart broke- yet I was happy to know what my difference truly was. Then I was introduced to fellow ACCers like Sarah, Brian, Jeffrey, Jolene, Jurie, Kyle, and others. Sarah and I have become like sisters, and Brian and Jeffrey are such an encouragement to me. Jolene and I have a deep friendship built through understanding each other. Other than them I've become friends with many parent's of those with ACC. I appreciate each and every one of them because without these amazing people I would never have learned to truly accept my ACC and learn to love myself. I'd have never learned to look at my ACC as a blessing but also something that I can try to overcome (on the days when it's not such a blessing) They are my family.

Finally- Those material things that I appreciate...the things that aren't as important to me as the experiences and people...but that still hold a special place in my heart. These things are Books, Jane Austen novels and the Regency Era, Harry Potter, and Hunger Games... Then since I already mentioned music... Movies, I LOVE old movies, I could watch them all day. Anything from the 30s-50s, then The 80s... I LOVE old Hollywood. Oh and The tv show Ugly Betty, it will forever be a favorite.

Now.... The most important thing that I appreciate- The one thing/person above ALL else. My Lord and Savior. Above anything I am a Christian I am forever in love with my Lord. He has saved me time and time again. He blesses me constantly and makes me feel so loved. I appreciate being saved, I appreciate His love for me and I appreciate everything about My relationship with Him. I appreciate the opportunity to learn more about Him...and I appreciate Him for putting the people He has put in my life.

Though I haven't blogged much, I've spent EVERY DAY this Appreciation April focusing on what and who I appreciate. I've learned so much this month and I'm thankful you've joined me on this journey! I love you All!

I'll Announce soon what May will be all about ;)

Blog Tour- Between These Lines!

Today's post is for the Blog Tour for Between These Lines, a book released from Playlist Fiction, a line of Young Adult Fiction. This story is fascinating. So here is today's "This or That" blog tour guest post! :) 

WHITLEY PREP DEBATE TEAM
CHASE’S THIS OR THAT
Lunch Line vs Brown Bag: Brown Bag. Nothing beats a home cooked lunch,
especially if Aunt Claudie’s packed it.
Movies vs Books: Books. Unless the movie is an adaptation from a book.
Jeans vs Dockers: Jeans. Levis. 501. Frayed cuffs.
Monkey Bread vs Cinnamon Buns: Monkey Bread. Each segment is a perfect
portion coated in sugar.
Evie vs Tara: Evie. No question about it.
Poetry vs Novel: Poetry leaves you with a feeling deep in your soul.
Poem of Choice: April 18th Sylvia Plath.

This IS an international giveaway so please, go ahead and sign-up!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Appreciation April: My Mentors and more

Sorry I've not been very good at blogging for Appreciation April. It's been a busy month. Thats not an excuse, just a fact! But I'm back, and still appreciating SO much.

I've been blessed to meet many amazing women in my life that I look up to, I have several "mama's" and several mentors. Today's Appreciation April is all about them. Yes there will be names. :)

My mother- She is more than a mom, she's a friend and she's a mentor. My mother is one of the sweetest, most wonderful people I've ever met. She's been through SO MUCH in life and come out on top. No one knows my mom like I do. She's stubborn, sweet, kind, beautiful, and SO STRONG. She also has such a heart to serve the Lord and learn more about him daily! When I was younger, I remember thinking I didn't want to be like my mom, but now... now I know that if I'm anything like her I will be truly blessed.

Anita- She's again one of the absolute strongest people I know. She's a very determined person. Above that she has one of the kindest of hearts, a heart to help others. I worked as her assistant for CARES for 6 months and learned SO MUCH from her. She's still a very dear friend and I'm so thankful to God for bringing her into my life. (mama bear 2!)

Aunt Kay- This woman is kooky (in a good way) she's crazy awesome, has a heart for the Lord that is just fascinating to see! She enjoys life, loves everyone she meets (even the ones that are hard to love.) She's inspiring, beautiful, sweet and just fabulous!

Mama Sue- The mother of the girls in Everlife... I started out my life after HS by being in the Task Force for Everlife and was the state leader for Kentucky for several months before I went to college. Mama Sue and I found each other on Facebook a few years after I had been in college and reconnected that way. Her testimony is one that is amazing and once again she's strong and loves to have fun!

Gena- She has had so much going on in her life, her testimony is beautiful...and in recent months faith has been tested yet she's still SO strong. This woman is beautiful inside and out. She and her family have become like family to my mother and I.

Laura L. Smith- My writing mentor, and I'm not sure she even knows it! :) It's always been a dream of mine to write...and I started to lose hope in that dream but then I met Laura. Her faith is strong and her books are written so beautifully! She's taken the time to talk to me and understand what makes me tick. She's encouraged me and helped me to see that I have something to say and should just say it!

These 6 women have similar personalities, and I've been drawn to each of them for different reasons. They each have their amazing testimonies, they are women in whom one can see God when they look at them. They each inspire me, and I'm so thankful that they've opened their hearts and lives to me. More than that, I'm thankful to God for choosing these 6 women to mentor me with their own special touch. I love that he's chosen so many amazing women to help guide me to the woman he wants me to be.


There are other amazing women that I call my other mama's they are protective, amazing, and I look up to them as well. Suzanne, Laquita, Debbie, and my Aunt Debbie. There are others also. If I didn't mention you and I've called you "Other mama" you are still VERY important to me but my brain is all foggy right this second. Just know I'm thankful that you've each invited me to be another child of yours. I love all my other mama's!

 Laura Kurk, Jennifer Murgia, and the other Authors of playlist Fiction, you are all quickly becoming very important to me and I appreciate you as I already said in my post for that.


There are a lot of friends I have that aren't mentors but we have mutual respect for each other and I want to say I appreciate them too: Stephanie C, Jennifer C., Stefanie S, Esther H., Labanya K., Ameet K., Katelyn W., Ashley H., Rhiannon, Katie B., Jacq  C., Carla C., and Mary Beth L. Thank you all for being so amazing. Again there are others, but my brain is not letting me think. I love and appreciate ALL of my friends, but the ones that I have a special friendship with the ones that I have mutual respect for... you all understand the way our friendship is. :) Thank you for letting God use you in my life, and I hope you feel the same about me.

Appreciation April: A Smile As Big As the Moon

Todays post is brought to you by the book by Mike Kersjes, this book has become a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie and is very dear to my heart.

A Smile As Big As The Moon is about a class of Special Needs students and their teachers, who get the opportunity to go to Space Camp in the 1980s! I wont give you many details, because this is a must see for anyone who is considered "Special Needs" or anyone who has a heart for those considered Special Needs.

As a child I was the the daughter of a man who worked with Special Needs adults and a mother who was a Special Education teacher in Elem/Middle school. The people I met, touched my heart even when I was young... I saw how hard they worked and loved them as though they were family...

Then in High School was blessed with a best friend who was in the Special Education program. He lived close to me and I cared for him like a sister does a brother. He was bullied and I stood up to those bullies right along with him. They left him alone!

Then in college I found out something that my parent's and I all knew deep down, but it hadn't yet been confirmed until my freshman year of college. I had a brain disorder(ACC, Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum), I had always been a person with "special needs" overlooked by the school system because they didn't want their Special Education teach to have a daughter in Special Ed. I was shocked, but I quickly decided to be an overcomer, I now knew WHY I was limited and that was the first step to overcoming those limits. You have to understand something before you can overcome it. It was my time, I was ready.

Then Last year I was introduced to the movie A Smile As Big As The Moon. The moment I found out there was a book too, I bought it and read it...twice. I was captivated by this story, I found people to relate to, I found a Special Education teacher that inspired me as much as my Mother always has... I found a group of people that I knew would believe in me even though they don't even know ANYTHING about me. I "met" through this book and movie a group of students, now adults, older than me, but still adults like me...who I could identify with... and I no longer felt alone.

I'm still finding my place in this world, But every time I doubt myself, my place, my life, every time I doubt that I can still over come things, I think of the fact that I have graduated college, but I also remember that there are so many others like me...I think of Mike Kersjes and his first class that went to Space Camp. I praise God for them all, say a prayer for each of them, and I APPRECIATE them. I appreciate them because they inspire me, and so many others and I'm so thankful for them. I doubt this will ever be read by any of them but if by the off chance it does... THANK YOU ALL!

To anyone reading this blog who hasn't seen the movie or read the book. Check BOTH out! You won't be disappointed: http://www.amazon.com/Hallmark-Smile-As-Big-Moon/dp/B00722MQE2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1365555406&sr=8-1&keywords=a+smile+as+big+as+the+moon 
http://www.amazon.com/Smile-Big-Moon-Education-Inspiring/dp/B00A17NOEQ/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1365555406&sr=8-2&keywords=a+smile+as+big+as+the+moon 

Appreciation April: Music

Today's Appreciation April post is a what not a who in essence. You see Music- in many ways has saved my life.

As an ACCer- Music has helped my brain gain different neural pathways for the two sides to communicate.

As a spiritual person, music is the way I communicate the things I'm going through.

Music has been a constant support in my life, through the loss of my father, getting diagnosed with ACC, meeting my friends at college and everything.

In college I tried to be quite supportive of my friends in bands, especially when it came to my friend Josh's band- Reconciled. There was also Fever Fever, and whatever band my friends Matt and Jerry were in. Before that I was in street teams for Jeremy Camp & Everlife...

After I graduated college I heard of Steph Ciotta and The Crowley Brothers from youtube and I support them as well. They really helped me stay out of depression after I graduated. The Crowley Brothers and Team Crowley will be getting their own post soon.

Then also after I graduated college my friend Carla and I have met bands such as Satellites and Sirens, If We Run, The Royal Knockout, Above Only, Mended, Pioneer, and many many others. Music has been a huge part of my life in so many ways. It truly has saved my life. That is why tonights post is about music.

Be looking for future posts about Team Crowley/Crowley Brothers, A Smile As Big As The Moon/Special Needs, Old Movies, My mother, Anita Gilbert, ACCers, AppaPhil, and many other things and people.

Appreciation April: Best Friends

Today's post is dedicated to my best friends.

When it comes to best friends I'm some what picky. I have about 5 people that I call best friends, but two of them have been through fire with me.

One I've known for 13+ years, All through High School we were best friends... the stories we have are... crazy and awesome. Today she was a huge support system to me, standing by me during one of the most goofy experiences of my life.

The second bestie is someone I met when I was a freshman in college...she lives many moons away on the other side of the US, but she is my best friend, she has supported me today as well and without her I'd be crazy lost.

I appreciate ALL of my friends, but more so I appreciate all 5 of my best friends... and even more than that I  apppreciate my 2 main besties because without them I dont know what I would do!

Appreciation April- Playlist Fiction

Hey everyone, today starts the Appreciation April blog posts and I thought that since yesterday was the launch day for the new line of YA Fiction, from Playlist Fiction, I would start off by telling you about that- while also sharing why I appreciate Playlist Fiction so much.

For the last few months my life has been a bit crazy. I started a new part time job, my grandmother moved back in with us, and I was losing friends as I felt my life was falling apart. Still I didn't complain, I held fast to the one truth I knew deep down- God would help me out of this, and all I had to do was lean on him. So I did.

I became twitter friends a while back with an amazing Author, Laura Smith, she and a few other authors got together, and Playlist Fiction was born, as was the street team. Anyone that knows me, knows how much I LOVE to read, so this was a great fit for me. I found a group of friends that I fit in with and I was feeling truly blessed.

Playlist Fiction tackles real life issues with their characters. There is Christian themes in some, mystery in others. These authors write their novels with such a real-life feel, you can connect with each character from the college stories of Hannah, Palmer, Kat, and Claire, to the Loss of Meg and her connection with Henry, then of course the love and struggles and scars of Evie and Chase!

Yesterday Playlist Fiction launched and released 3 of their books for kindle. These books are It's Complicated by Laura Smith, Glass Girl by Laura Kurk, and then Between These Lines by Jennifer Murgia. You can check out the page and find out how to get the books here: http://playlistfiction.com/

To know a little more you can check out my playlist on youtube with videos about the books: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnYVlvjKE1HafWGysZLPTSGeuJcjvs6Dg

I appreciate Playlist Fiction because these books have helped me reconnect with a piece of myself that I was starting to lose. They've helped me gain a sense of freedom, and helped me feel like I'm really not alone. (I know God's always with me, but now I feel like I have Hannah, Palmer, Kat, Claire, Meg, and the others with me too. It's amazing how supported you feel when reading about characters in books)

Beyond that Playlist Fiction has offered me friendships that I already treasure. The friendships with the Authors themselves, and other people in the Street Team. I've found a family of people that don't judge me, that love me, that support me, and in turn I hope and pray I do the same for them So I Appreciate Playlist Fiction.

I hope anyone wondering about Playlist Fiction found this post helpful! I also hope that you all get out your Kindle and other e-readers and... DOWNLOAD THE DRAMA! :) Blessings!

---Until next time, It's Lynnea saying... Keep your head up and read a book ;)

Motivation March:Final Post

So I was slacking a little on the Motivation March stuff this month. This month has been a crazy one! Sorry I've not done a good job of keeping up! But I'm back and my last post is on Bullying.

I've seen countless people getting bullied in my life and something that most people do not know, is that I was bullied. All through School from Kindergarten to 12th grade, then for 5 years at college.

Anyone that knows me, knows that I'm pretty good at the snappy come backs.

At 8 years old my church told me I was two young to get saved, so I COULDN'T. So instead of getting upset I took my time to look at each person that had come up to "pray" with me and I said "You deny me a place in the family of God but would God deny me a place in Heaven" My father then smiled and said "well you heard her!" and that is the night I got saved.

In High School some kid told me to "Go to Hell" after he bumped into me in the hallway (yeah... I know...) Anyway so I looked at him and said "Actually I've been there. The Devil asked me to bring you back with me. Be ready in about *looks at watch* 15 minutes" The boy walked away shocked, never heard from him again.

In college one of my professors told me I was going to fail his class because I had a late assignment after my computer crashed. I told him "No I'm not, It's like my purse says. "I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens me. I WILL get an A in your class." I did get that A.

And AFTER college I've been told by countless churches they don't mind that I'm female but they wont hire me because I'm a SINGLE female. So I got really annoyed at once church and them basically that they could find me a husband.

Some of you may not think that some of that is bullying... but here is the definition of bullying: "Bullying-

Use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants." People look at me and think I'd be easy to intimidate, I guess I just have that kind of face but when you've been bullied as long as I have you gain THICK skin. Also, God blessed me with a smart mouth! ;) Those who are bullied please, stand up for yourself. Right a list of the most common insults from your bullies, then sit down and come up with snappy comebacks. Not hurtful ones, just the kind that will put your bully in their place. Also, be honest and tell your bully that they are hurting you. In college I was tormented by a few guys who were bullying me, and I had the oppertunity in my Preaching class (that they were ALL in) to stand up and preach a sermon against bullying. Afterwards they came up and apologize. One of those bullies in now one of my best friends. I didn't attack him. I simply talked about what it's like to live with a difference, and then be bullied. He saw how wrong it was and apologized. Some bullies just DONT care and that's why the snappy comments help. Those bullies are the ones that you don't want to know that they are hurting you. How do you tell the difference? Try the snappy comments first, if your bully turns it into banter, instead of just getting annoyed that their comments aren't getting to you, be honest with them. Be strong and courageous my friends. Bullying happens at ALL ages, and all parts of life. But if you find the right way to handle it you can stop it before it gets bad! I'm not going to sugarcoat things and say that I haven't been hurt by the things that have been said to me. Thanks to my ACC I'm constantly cursed to relieve the moments I've been bullied, and the words they've said. I still struggle with the feelings these bullies have given me, even though I've forgiven them. BUT I've chosen to rise above it. When I start to think about something a bully has done I put on My Overcomer playlist, dance around my room and remind myself just how awesome I am, because I'm me. You are awesome too! For no other reason than the fact that you are you! It can't get much better than that!  Stay strong my friends! Now to the Intro to Appreciation April. April is going to be a bit like February. I'll be sending more Friendship Quotes to people this month, and posting about different things and people that I appreciate. So be on the lookout and expect to hear from me, just how much you are appreciated! :)

Motivation March:Catch up

Hey there! Sorry that I missed the last few days of blogging!

For Diabetes week I wanted to tell you all something. As you know, Diabetes runs deep in my family. Both my parents are/were diabetic. My dads mother was, as was my mothers grandmother. After my mother was diagnosed when I was little, and in the last 3 years especially we've changed our diet to a healthier one... a year and a half ago I got my A1C tested and it was 4.6 which is pretty good... about 2 weeks ago I got it tested again and my A1C was a 5.8- which is borderline. It's scary...and I'm concerned that if I don't watch it I'll be considered diabetic soon too. I'm eating somewhat healthy but there are certain things I HAVE to cut out of my diet such as sweets and pop. I'm working on it but it's going to be a different road. Take care of yourself if you may have diabetes... please. It's not a fun place to be.

____________________________________________________

Starting tomorrow I hope to give more attention to Bullying which is what I want the rest of this month to be about. God bless!

Motivation March: Daddy's a Diabetic

Before my father was diagnosed as I diabetic, he was diagnosed as a diabetic. I remember a couple of times where his diabetes got so out of wack that he went into a diabetic coma. It was scary, and that was my first HUGE clue of how scary diabetes really is.

Please if you have diabetes or have a possibility of having diabetes, get checked! Go to the doctor and get on the proper diet. If not for yourself do it for your family. For the ones that love you...

Motivation March: My best friend and Diabetes

In college I met my best friend. That best friend that you know will be in your life no matter, distance or anything. She's my age, and we met our friendship was just one of those that you KNEW God had a hand in.

She is a type 2 diabetic and many times I remember helping her when she wasn't feeling up to par thanks to her diabetes. It's one of those things that kept our friendship close. I remember staying in her room trying to help, but just being company to her while I knew she wasn't feeling well. Diabetes is scary business but I'm so glad I could be there with her while we were in college.

Motivation March: My mother is diabetic

To start of my "personal stories" for Diabetes week I thought I'd start with the person I'm closest to. My mom.

My mom had trouble with low blood sugar, when she was much younger, then when she was pregnant with me she had gestational diabetes. As the years went on she was diagnosed as type two diabetic. I remember when she taught, our to go breakfast was little debbie cakes, as we got in her car and went to school. As time went on Mom nixed the little debbies and we tried to eat healthier then my father was diagnosed as a diabetic. After my father died of Leukemia our eating habits changed drastically. But it wasn't until she read Wheat Belly that we got the healthiest we've ever been.

Before Mom read Wheat Belly her sugar would yo yo. But after we cut wheat out of our diet she didn't have as many problems. She mostly keeps her diabetes under control because she wants to be as healthy as possible. My mother is a great example for me. I'm proud of her.

Motivation March: Diabetes Week

Well today is the start of my Diabetes week. Tomorrow I'll start blogging about the stories of people with diabetes that I'm familiar with.

Diabetes is a very scary thing. There is Type 1 and Type two. I've seen the effects of diabetes in many people that I know.

Some diabetes info:

http://www.diabetes.org/food-and-fitness/food/planning-meals/diabetes-meal-plans-and-a-healthy-diet.html

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002194/

http://diabetes.webmd.com/

Take care of yourself. And if you are a diabetic make sure you follow the diet your doctor tells you to follow.

Motivation March- End of Brain Week

Today was the last day of Brain Awareness week. I've had an amazing experience by submitting an article to the local newspaper and having SEVERAL people come to me and tell me "thank you" for writing it. A lot of people have learned a lot about me, and ACC in general because of that article and I am SO thankful! God is good.

I've learned more about myself and the things I can and can't handle, the people that care about me, and those that don't. I'm so thankful to each of you for sticking with me through this Journey.

Starting tomorrow is Diabetes Week. I'll be posting Blog posts about my mother, father, best friend, and others I know with diabetes. I'll also share my own personal story about trying to stay away from the diabetes diagnosis! I loo forward to this next weeks journey with you! God bless

Motivation March: "Love me for me"

We all have the desire to be loved for who we are... but the question is, who exactly are we?

I have ACC, I call myself an ACCer. But does ACC define me? No not really. My ACC is something I generally associate my quirks with... they are quirks that most people can't over look. Quirks that I'm often misjudged for. But my ACC does not define me.

I don't want to be loved FOR my ACC. I want to be loved THROUGH it.

My mother is the perfect example of someone who loves me through my ACC. No matter what happens, if I have a bad ACC day, she lovingly accepts it. And figuratively holds my hand through it.

My best friend Stephanie is the same way. If I'm having a bad ACC day she just says "I know it's tough, you know I love you" and lets me get through the day knowing she supports me.

These two love me through my ACC, it's not who I am, but it is part of me. So yes, I want to be loved for who I am but I also want to be loved through the icky moments...and I know I'm not alone in this.

Motivation March: No Corpus Callosum

Myself and others with ACC have struggled with and still often struggle with "How do you tell the ones you love about your ACC"

I'm not very good at explaining things, I fumble over my words, I get nervous and... gibberish falls out of my mouth. I do better with writing my thoughts down...

There is a great childrens book called ACC and Me that is a GREAT intro into "What ACC is" But I work through music. So: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMEtBh2vkyQ

Find your way of telling the people you love about your differences, no matter what they are. If they really do care for you, they'll be proud of you for stepping out and being honest :)

Motivation March: Differences and Bullies

It's still brain week and I want to touch on a subject that is very important to me.

All through school, if I saw someone being bullied, I stood up to the bully for that person, often times it was someone with a differability that was getting bullied. I've always been drawn to people who were "different" people that most people thought weren't normal... to me- these were the best people in the world, the ones with all the secrets of how the world really should be. They know contentment and happiness on a level that most people will never understand. They know how to find the joy in the darkest times...because most of the time they know true love. The unconditional love of SOMEONE in their life has touched them to a point that they have the purest of hearts. And it urks me when I see someone else try to take that pureness from these AMAZING people.

Those with differabilities, know more than just the happiness they know heartbreak, and they know rejection. Often times they can overcome that, because they have SOMEONE to help them...but sometimes... they dont.

Recently I had a conversation with my best friend...I'd hid something from her ALL through high school. And most people from my high school and even middle school don't know this but I was bullied. I was the girl that stood up to the bullies for someone else, when they started picking on me I'd come back with a smart alec remark or just ignore them... but after my 10th grade year... I begged my mom to put me on homeschooling. The bullying was getting worse (this was in the early 2000s  before "cyber-bullying" was a big thing) but people were getting online and messaging me telling me it was my fault my dad died (of cancer) they said it was a good thing he died because he'd have hated having a daughter like me... stupid, ugly... you name it, they said it. So I begged to be home-schooled  changed my name on messengers and pretty much disappeared for a year and a half while I grieved on my own. I went to hang out with my best friend at football games sometimes but mostly I just stayed away.

While I was getting bullied I had suicidal thoughts, I know what it's like to be in that point of life, feeling like you have no one. Thankfully people I was close to helped me get out of that part of my depression.

When I returned things had calmed down... the bullies mostly left me alone, we were in our last year and all just trying to graduate.

Then I went to college, I thought that things would be different, that I wouldn't be bullied...then I got my ACC diagnosis and reached to the point of not being able to hide it. The bullying started again. This time REALLY attacking my intelligence and because I wasn't sure how to handle ANYTHING that was going on, emotionally... I was called a drama queen despite trying to just walk away... people didn't understand me at all and that didn't help how I handled things. I had overcome the suicidal thing in high school and didn't return to that at this point... I went back to doing my best to ignore the bullies.


Something about ACC though... when you insult an ACCer that stays with them (this can be true about ANYONE that is bullied though) Their words, the things they said, the way I was treated... that has stayed with me. Even now I have to fight off the words of my bullies. I was bullied from kindergarten to my last year of college. I was able though to confront some of my bullies through the years and when I did, when I told them "You are hurting me, you don't realize what your words do to people...especially someone that doesn't have much control over how they react... please stop. Have a little compassion." it wasn't an over night change but things DID change.

People don't like anyone who is "different" it's human nature to disrespect differences in others. But instead of mistreating those with differences, show compassion, show love... chances are if you love those that are different they will teach you amazing things about life! And you will have some of the TRUEST of friends.

Stop bullying.

Motivation March: Brain Week

Keep your head up! We all get bullied, we all have rough days. When you have ACC sometimes the hard days are 10 times harder than people realize. So today I'm not going to say much- because for me it was a hard and stressful day. But today I'm sharing a video I made:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cor9eb1-59g&list=UUXwMaAn_RfDVp6Wv0oyuv4Q&index=24

Motivation March: Brain Awareness Week

As I stated yesterday Brain Awareness Week is one of the most important weeks in my life.

Mainly because this is a week every year that I can tell others about ACC. But it's more than that I can also show even more support to Causes for other Brain disorders, brain diseases, and yes- even brain injuries.

From the time I was a young child the brain intrigued me... one of my biggest fears was to have anything wrong with my brain. Then when I was 20 years old I found out I'd ALWAYS had something... different about my brain. My obsession with the brain grew, and I learned as much as I could about it- what makes it tick, how can I learn to better myself... and what can I do to help others learn about these... "brain things"

So last night/today our local news paper came out... and in it was an article I wrote about Brain Awareness week and my ACC. It was a step that needed to be taken, so I took it.

I've promised to post on my blog every day this week, something brain related.

I'm trying to finish a video that I want to release this week...

I'm not going to mention much about Brain injuries this week because those that go through things like that have their privacy. I know people that are inspirations to me... and they touch my life just through their stories. I do want to share an inspirational blog though: http://www.forjuliana.org/

Motivation March: My Story

It's that time of year again. Brain Awareness week. Hands down one of the most important weeks of the year for me. I gear up a prepare myself for this week every year from January and all through the week of Brain Awareness.

This is the week that I get to give personal attention to my brain disorder. It's the week that I can tell my story without judgement.

Most of the people that have been recently reading my blog don't know about my ACC So- for those of you that do, get ready for some repetition.

ACC is a brain disorder actually called "Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum" It means that a person is born with their corpus callosum completely or partially missing. ACC touches all parts of the ACCers life. Socially, physically, mentally, emotionally. Some with ACC can't walk or talk, some live in assisted living... while their are others that try to live as normally as possible.

Along with ACC there can be other health problems... ACC Doesn't get better or worse, it just tends to manifest itself as the ACCer gets older.

People with ACC are often misunderstood. On a personal level- I'm often called a drama queen, told that I'm too hard on myself, that I'm negative, or mean. Anyone that truly knows me knows I highly dislike drama unless it's in a novel or movie. I'm ONLY hard on myself in extremely stressful situations when I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm also not a negative person at all and I'm not mean. I am brutally honest though.

In the past I've had severe anxiety in new situations but with all the new situations I've had in the last year I'm almost an old pro at them now. I've grown and God has helped me reach a new point. It's nice.

I've scattered Facts around this blog post but stick with me... I'm going to tell you a story.

Once upon a time in the year 1985 a baby girl was born, it was winter time and it was snowing. It was around lunch time when this little (or not so little) girl was born. She was 10 pounds, 14 ounces and the apple of her parents eyes. Suddenly the baby was put aside as the mother passed out and nearly died. The father named the little girl who was to be called Lynnae Yancy... but wait... the birth certificate read Lynnea Yancy. Finally the baby's mother was stable and the family was whole. As time went on the parents noticed their little girl was crawling backward, but not forward, then she learned to walk later than she should have. The little girls foot was turning in and it worried the parents. Then it came time to learn to tie her shoes, after a long time of trying to teach her the parents decided to use the special needs technique and taught her that. Time went on and the parents who had both worked with those with special needs decided to try therapy on their daughter and were able to get her to straighten her foot when she walked.

This little girl was in school now, and getting bullied as early as kindergarten. Her parent's decided in the 2nd grade that it was time she switch schools. They tried to get her tested for special needs and the school system wouldn't do it. School went on and the young girl barely passed her classes, sometimes she didn't, no matter how hard she tried. Then when she was a sophomore her father who had cancer for 7 months passed away. She was getting bullied worse then ever. Receiving messages online, the cyber bullying was the worst. She begged her mother to put her on home school and she did that for a year and a half, then went back to public school to graduate. She took a year off and then went to college.

Freshman year of college this young womans life changed. She'd had 2 car accidents in a year, and had daily migraines for mos of her life. Her mother, who was now very concerned decided it was time to take her to a neurologist. She was diagnosed with ACC. For months she tried to hide it. That was stressful because she'd never been good at hiding who she was. Finally 6 months after she was diagnosed the truth came out and she was called to share her story. Each day became a struggle, because the bullying didn't stop after high school. No one understood her. She still didn't fit in, even if she was around fellow Christians. The difference was she'd found a group of friends that PRETENDED that she fit in...and just to get by, that was enough.

This girl is me.


Every day has been a struggle. I've had daily migraines most of my life, as stated earlier. I've never taken tests well, and I'm horrible with social cues. I don't do well going to any type of parties... dinner parties or dinner at friends houses are the worst. I always end up doing something dumb and embarrassing something that makes people look at me like I'm the biggest idiot they've ever met.

I've got several very patient people in my life that make it all worth it.

I'm not saying ANY of this to complain. But I wanted to paint a picture. My life really is amazing. I've got the best mother in the world. And the few friends that I'm close to are the truest. I've found my niche among a group of fellow bookworms and a group of crafty people. My fathers family keep me involved in their lives. And with my ACC... I've met some of THE BEST people I've ever met and may ever meet! I've been able to help people in a way that I've never imagined and well... I've got super powers ;)

My super power is that I can do research, homework, read, anything while watching movies...in fact I can't get anything done unless I'm watching a movie or talking to someone WHILE I'm doing it. I've met people that only wish they could multitask like that! haha My life is amazing... but there is still a story to tell and I wont stop until EVERYONE that I know knows about Agenesis of The Corpus Callosum, and until they tell others about it. Not for me but for every ACCer I know. Ultimately I want people to know that bullying the differently-abled is NOT the way to be. Making them feel like less so you can feel like more is just NOT right and every differently-abled person has ME fighting in their corner! BECAUSE I CAN!

So if you know an ACCer or anyone else who has a differability... stand up for them, love them, treat them with respect, the kind of respect that we ALL want.

This is my story and I'm spreading it :)

Motivation March: Brain Cancer

Today's Cancer is Brain Cancer-

Most of my life I've been truly scared about anything that goes wrong with the brain. It's one of the most important things about a persons body...and anything being wrong with a persons brain has always concerned me as much as heart issued.

That is- until a few years ago when I was diagnosed with a brain disorder then I decided to stop fearing health issues because the moment a I fear them, the moment it's possible I may have a problem with that health issue.

When I was diagnosed with my Brain Disorder, there was a moment, just a moment when my doctor, mom, and I were concerned about Brain Cancer.... I have two cysts in my brain and we were worried about growth. We've monitored them and they are just the cysts that people sometimes get with ACC.

That being said... I have a heart for those with Brain Cancer, or anything going on with their brain. So since Brain Awareness week officially starts tomorrow I wanted to give spotlight to Brain Cancer today.

http://www.webmd.com/cancer/brain-cancer/default.htm

http://www.emedicinehealth.com/brain_cancer/article_em.htm

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/types/brain

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/braincancer.html

Motivation March: My life & Cancer

For todays Motivation March I wanted to share a personal "story" 

Cancer is something I've seen a lot of. I've had aunts and uncles with Cancer most of my life. My father died of Cancer and close friends of mine and my mothers have either died of cancer or went into remission. 

In recent months I've seen family of some very dear friends of mine be diagnosed with Cancer and it has broken my heart. Cancer is one of the most scary diseases and I wish it was way less common than it is. 

Cancer seeps in and causes a change in a person so much so that they are unrecognizable.

My prayers are with each person touched by forms of cancer whether it be you or someone you love. You are thought off... May God give you strength and Wisdom in this battle. You are loved and you are remembered.

"If one person comes to Christ through knowing my story...it will have all been worth it" -Max Squires, Leukemia 9/13/01 

Motivation March: Pancreatic Cancer

Today's cancer is Pancreatic Cancer.

Once again I don't know anyone that personally battled this type of cancer but have heard about it quite frequently. 

So- I'm going to post some websites that I've found.

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/types/pancreatic

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001283/

And a list that I found of the most common cancers in the US: 

http://www.sheknows.com/sheknows-cares/articles/823419/10-most-common-cancers-in-the-us

I hope you are getting a lot of the info I post here. I'm really learning a lot myself! 

Motivation March: Thyroid Cancer

And it's back to our regularly scheduled Cancer week of Motivation March:

Today's Cancer is Thyroid Cancer.

I haven't met anyone with the actual thyroid cancer but know many with thyroid issues...

This is one of those cancers that I personally know little about but it information needs to be spread. I'm learning about this right along with you today! Here are some websites:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002193/

http://www.webmd.com/cancer/tc/thyroid-cancer-topic-overview

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/types/thyroid

WOW- the number of cases and deaths! Looks like word needs to be spread about this. Keep fighting, my friends and spread the word!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7M65E6uVnA

Motivation March: Spread The Word To End The Word day

We interrupt the regularly scheduled "Cancer week" of Motivation March for an important message from our Month.

Today is a day that is all about "Spreading the Word to end the R-word"

https://www.facebook.com/EndtheWord

Since I found out about this day a couple of years ago I have taken part in it! Since I was young I hated the word and this misuse of it. If you are unaware of what the word is it. It's a medical word to describe people with a mental disability or as I've recently heard them called. People with a differability. I love the term Differability!

The word is... "Retarded" it's become a slur by many of my generation and the generation under us.

It's an almost every day insult to call someone that does something "stupid" a retard... and that has GOT to stop.

I had a conversation with a dear friend of mine a few years ago. He said something was retarded and I called him out on it. I desperately hate that word and I try to tell people to stop saying it, at least around me. So I told him that and he asked me to explain. And this is what I told him.

"That word has become an insult. It was meant as a medical term but has become a derogatory term no different than the words used to describe different nationalities. It's NOT a term of endearment. We don't say things like "you cute, sweet little retard you" It's used in a very insulting way, used to sting and hurt the other person. Why spread hurt, when we can spread positivity."

I stand by what I said that day.

Why am I so passionate about this?

As someone with a mental "differability" I can be classified as slightly "retarded" My mother was a special Education teacher for a majority of my young life, and my father worked with special needs adults! This crowd of people have a special place in my heart! It's time to build them up and not tear them down! Join me and sign the pledge found here: http://www.r-word.org/


One more story of how hurtful that word is. I once heard someone call a cancer patient a "retard" and then they walked away but not before this person with cancer called out and said "I'm not retarded! I'm DYING!" Perhaps that will put it in perspective of how truly hurtful that word is.

Disclaimer: I only used the word in this blog post to show the perspective. I assure you that it pained me to type it every time that I did. You will not catch me saying that word unless I'm putting it in perspective advising people to stop.

Have a great day!

Motivation March: Childhood Cancers

As callings in life go... I'm a youth minister. But what many don't know about me is that from a very young age I had a nurturing personality. I loved children even when I was one. One of my earliest memories is of holding my little nephew Jarrod in my arms, looking down, so proud that this little baby was MY NEPHEW.  As I got older I only got more nurturing. Then when my dad was sick with Leukemia and my mother had a broken arm (he was diagnosed in feb 2001, she broke her arm in may 2001) I was the only person that lived in the home that could take care of them. In college I was known as Mama Nea or Mama Squires by a very large number of friends, and then once I graduated I gained others who now call me Mama.

I love children. I help my best friend with her two kids, and helping children has been something that's always been important to me. Working with kids and teens is one of the best parts of my life. So because of this...

My heart breaks in half when I hear of a child who has cancer. Most of the children with Cancer that I've met or know of are the bravest little warriors that I've ever met. They are strong, they are forces to be reckoned with and some of the most positive people in existence. But they have days where they are weary, when they need those around them to help give them their strength back.

Childhood cancers are scary, heartbreaking, and just almost impossible to imagine.

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/types/childhoodcancers

Some my favorite movies are: November Christmas, The Heart Of Christmas, Letters to God, and Miracle of the Cards. All of these movies are about Children with Cancer. Watch them...but make sure you have tissues on hand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iwOFpgNELE
That being said support St. Judes Childrens Research Hospital. They do AMAZING work. Support these Children.

http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=f87d4c2a71fca210VgnVCM1000001e0215acRCRD

Motivation March: Lung Cancer

Today's  cancer I want to blog about is Lung Cancer.

I know some people who have had Lung Cancer but it was more a "friend of a friend" kind of thing... Still Lung Cancer is scary and I wanted to dedicate a blog post to it.

Since I have no personal stories, this will be a short post, just sharing some info on Lung Cancer but if you know anyone or have any stories you want to share feel free to comment!

http://www.webmd.com/lung-cancer/default.htm

http://www.lungcancer.org/

Hope these pages help with info.

Motivation March: Leukemia

Today's Motivation March: Cancer Week is all about Leukemia.

This certain cancer is one that is very close to my heart. So today's story is my fathers.

I was somewhat Freshly 15 in February 2001. (My birthday is in December.) I don't know much about when my dad was diagnosed except for he went to the doctor and they ran tests and that's how he and my mother found out. A couple of days later my dad asked us to get in the car and go for one of his nature drives. I remember we'd stopped by the post office then as my father started driving again that's when he told me he had Leukemia. I knew what it was, I'd heard of it before but I still asked him to explain.

As a 15 year old I wasn't really all that naive. What little naivety I had left disappeared when my father told me he had cancer. The next 7 months were both slow and fast... My father was in and out of the hospital, he was in a fair share of diabetic comas and we had been afraid we were about to lose him more than once. I went from a carefree, fun loving girl to one that took care of her dying father and injured mother. My mother broke her arm in May of 2001 and it was up to me to take care of my parents.

From May 2001 on I did so many tasks. I was basically like a live in nurse. I was scared, but strong because I had to be. I saw my fathers personality change as he got worse in his cancer. He was in pain and in many ways quite angry.

I will spare the details on some of the things that happened however- other things should be told.

I'm about to recall a moment in my fathers illness that few know about but I carry the memory with me. If you get easily saddened or don't want to know about one of the scariest moments of my life...do not read on.

During my dad's Leukemia there were moments where he would kind of forget himself... and me.

In one in particular my parents and I were sitting in the living room just talking... and my dad suddenly started talking to me...

He called me Chris- the name of my sister that died when I was 5. He told me to play him something on the piano (Though I took lessons, I didn't get very far... so I'm not very good) When I told him no, but that I would play baritone (an instrument he played in his younger years, and that I started playing when I was 10) He told me "No" he said "Don't play that, don't take after me. I don't want you playing Baritone" Then he started talking to me like I was my sister. At 15 years old I was so afraid, I'd never seen this happen before... I began to tear up no matter how much I fought it... and then my mother asked if he knew who she was... he did. And that's when he came back to us, remembering who I was... It didn't last long but it still scared me. I didn't quite understand then that it was only a matter of time.

A few months later my father, who was worse, who was no longer doing much at church, and was basically bedridden... entered a coma on the evening of Sept 11th 2001...and We found him on the 12th... Then on September 13th my father went to be with the Lord, with family surrounding him, including uncles and aunts, and my brothers as well as my mom, my pastor, and his daughter.

My father was one of the strongest men I know. He taught me how to love, how to live, how to sing, how to smile. One of the most amazing things my father said to both mom and I as he lay dying in bed is "If just one person comes to Christ after hearing my story it will all have been worth it." So I live to spread his story, to share his strength and to pass on his memory.

You never forget a parent who loves so purely. He will live on in my memory forever. There are so many good memories that I will never trade. I will never fully get over or move on from my fathers death. Though I smile at his memory there are painful memories that hurt me just as the good ones help. But I will not let my fathers memory fade. People need to hear his story of strength and triumph and know that this man fought as long as he could, as hard as he could... I'm thankful for the memory of my father and I'm praising God that he  is no longer in pain.

If you or someone you love is battling Leukemia...stay strong, stay encouraging and FIGHT.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-rlnge-5Ow