Christmas

Well, It's Christmas day! So first and foremost I hope you have all had a very Merry Christmas.

I've been surrounded with so many wonderful people who enjoy surprising me with gifts of my favorite things. Duckie things, teacup puzzles, tea, chocolate, movies, jewelry, and even shoes. It's been a blessing filled Christmas.

I'm not going to lie, this Christmas has been full of a lot of rough moments too but mom and I are trying to get through. I've become restless, unable to sit still for more than 5 minutes at a time, but because of that I've gotten A LOT done.

I did the Feast of St. Thomas single ladies thing on Dec 21st. Though I DID have a dream (google Feast of Saint Thomas) I don't know what it was about... or who.

OH! My headaches are doing a little better as well...

I'm looking forward to the new year, starting a list of things that I want to get done in 2015, also will be singing in front of people for the first time in 4 years on Dec. 28... Nervous about that one.

Hows everyone else doing? Much love and blessings to you and yours.

Cranberry Bliss

It's winter, which means it's cold.
It's Christmas time, which means so many Christmas miracles are happening.
This is the time of year where so many good things happen, you see God's love in places you don't normally see it.
People that often  seem invisible are now very visible to the eyes as many.

There is also so much sadness, bad things happen to a lot of people during this time. Bad memories resurface.

The world stops and moves on all at once and by Jan 1st your not sure how you lost so much time, but had so much time for so many things. It's beautiful and confusing in one breath.

This is my life right now, worry, and strength, sadness and bliss, blessings and stress...

I often think this must have been how Mary and Joseph felt before Jesus was born. That stress and worry through at the beginning, a sadness looming even though something amazing would happen soon... Mary's strength, then Joseph's as he stepped up. The bliss that came and the blessing that was Jesus... all these mixed up feelings that leave you wondering, where did the time go, and what now? But then that strength comes again and helps you through, the strength of God. It's beautiful and powerful and it is there for us all. there for the taking if we want it, if we reach for it.

I'm praying for you, my friends.

Musings

Well it's been a little over a month since my last post. Which means... a few things actually. Number 1: I'm SUCH a slacker! I'm sorry. Things have been crazy this fall. Two trips up norther (yes...norther) Pumpkin Show, for one of those trips, then I've been spending a lot of time trying to sell jewelry and spending time with friends. I've found a wonderful new church that I've been visiting. The people there are just wonderful and I'm blessed to have met them and made that connection.

Beyond that, I've traded in my tea once again, this time for Ale 8 because I've had an upset stomach. Stress will do that to a person, don't you think?

I've been learning a lot more about Health with my gluten allergy. I've also been on a quest of bettering myself, and I figure since it's about to be winter I might try to do a post or two about different beauty techniques I've adopted into my life. A lot of people ask me how I get my complexion, or my soft skin. I don't use Mary Kay, Avon or any of that. Though I LOVE their products, have used them before and they are great, but I've learned that with my skin I can't use many store bought things, so I make scrubs, shampoo, body wash, and make or buy homemade soaps. I've got a friend that makes the best soap, Soggy Badger is the name of her business and she's got GREAT products. Anyway, I was just thinking about sharing some of the things I'm learning and trying. and since not a lot of people read my blog, you'll be one of the few that finds out the things I've learned ;)

Until then, I need to go. I've got some books to put up and even some books to find. Such is the life of a kid at heart. Blessings! 

Autumn

So it's that time of year! Pumpkins, changing and falling leaves, fuzzy socks are finally coming out of hiding, and the smell and feel of autumn is in our midst and I love it.

I'm not a huge fan of winter, the cold and snow, and all that just do not make this girl a happy camper, but fall is before all that madness, and that...I love.

Today I'm trading in my tea for apple cider, as I update my vlog and my blog. It's a beautiful relaxing feeling knowing that fall is here, and I'm enjoying each moment of it as I get ready for the cold to take over. I've enjoyed a day of video games and calmness in  the midst of this crazy busy thing we call life. Because for just one moment I get to enjoy my favorite season. It's a beautiful picture, don't you think?

Convictions and Gluten Trouble

Brace yourselves, this is going to be a long one!

A lot has been going on this past weekend. I'll start off by talking about the gluten thing. I have no doubt in my mind that I'm now Celiac instead of Gluten sensitive/intolerant. I used to be able to handle small amounts and now I can't even handle a small piece of communion bread. It's nightmarish.

With this sudden, abrupt, and difficult change in my diet, others in my circle are having to also adjust, but many in my circle havent received it well. I've been judged and glared out. People don't appreciate that I HAVE to bring my own gluten free option to community dinners. I have to take care of myself so that I'm not feeling deprived. Depression can often come with ANY TYPE of change in diet and I really don't appreciate people telling me I'm in the wrong or that it's MY DUTY to help others see a healthier way of eating. I cannot and will not carry the  whole worlds burdens on my shoulders, I have enough going on in my own world, too much of my own world to defend against the judgmental glances of others.

How would you feel if you had an allergy and you knew no one else would bring something gluten free so you had to, then when you did people were rude to you about it?! Probably not too happy. But you know what, I'm getting through it and it's all fine. I just said that to say, be careful who you judge and why you judge. It's not our place.

Next... I'm very open and honest about my personal convictions, we ALL have personal convictions. These are convictions God puts on our hearts personally. Other people may not get them or understand them but YOU do, because it's YOURS. I have always been a person that has looked to God for guidance in everything including convictions he's already placed on my heart. I ALWAYS listen to what God has to say but I do not listen to people when they tell me they don't agree with my convictions. A. They don't understand it. B. It's none of their business.

One of my biggest convictions, that was actually confirmed by more than one of my college professors is that I will not volunteer in a youth ministry or childrens ministry. I got a degree in it, and I will not volunteer because if I ever get a job in it, that should be my lively hood and volunteering will more often then not get me stuck in a bigger rut than I'm already in. In good conscience I cannot do that. You may not agree with it, but it's not about you.

Now, that being said, that does not mean I do not mentor young people. There are several young people in my church and outside of my church that look up to me. Young women who consider me their mentor.

I made a point recently that God does call some people to volunteer, but he doesn't call everyone to volunteer. This was shot back with the comment "he calls everyone to serve" Serving and volunteering are different. I don't volunteer in youth ministries but I serve in other ways. I serve in my churches technology team, I serve by mentoring young people, I serve by teaching Bible Study when I'm healthy enough to have it in my home.

But I will not stand to be interrupted and judged (even unintentionally) by someone who wont even listen. When you don't give me a chance to explain without jumping to conclusions don't expect me to just take it without getting upset. I took classes on preaching I know what it looks and sounds like and I will not let you tell me my conviction is wrong when you don't know my PERSONAL relationship with God. Just like I wont tell you how to live your life for Christ.

Rant over. Just...be careful.

We Remember

Today is a day that will be full of an overload of posts from people remembering where they were 9/11/01. I already made a post about it on facebook so I'm not going to rehash all that. I will say that everyone has a different memory and mine brings forth a bunch of different ones to follow in the next few days.

Life has changed a lot in the last 13 years for everyone, in this country especially. It's almost hard to talk about it. So instead we pray. Today is a day of pensive thought. This is a short post... I'm just so much in thought that I can't get it out. More later, perhaps.

"Why are you obsessed with brains?"

"Why are you so obsessed with brains?" It's a question I get asked a lot.

Many who know me know that I was diagnosed with a brain disorder called Agenisis of the Corpus Callosum (ACC) with I was 20 years old. I was actually born with it and they didn't find out until then.

The cliff notes version to what ACC is: Agenisis of the Corpus Callosum means that someone is born with the Corpus Callosum (bridge to both sides of the brain, the connector piece in the brain) either completely or partially missing. This causes a number of problems. Though some with ACC are known as "high functioning" and others may not be able to walk or talk or do much of anything for themselves.

Before you read any further, know that I've heard before the whole "well I'd never known if you hadn't told me." that might be true, instead you'd have labeled my ACC moments as me being weird, or stupid or blonde. I've heard it all trust me. I was bullied all through school because I didn't fit in and THIS, my ACC was why.

Of course, my "obsession", my interest in the brain didn't start with my ACC diagnoses. I studied the brain in my gifted class way back in middle school. It ALWAYS fascinated me. I remember getting those discovery kids magazines back when I was little. I still have them, and the brain issue... it's a little more beat up than all the others because I devoured the info in it.

But with my diagnoses, I did get even more interested in the brain and how it works. That was my favorite part of my general psychology class in college. For example did you know that doctors will actually remove the CC from someones brain in order to stop seizures, but some with ACC actually struggle with having seizures? WOW!

So yes, I have a brain shaped eraser, stress ball, pen, and key chain, yes, I have a squishy brain model, a grow your own brain science thing, a brain bank... I LOVE brains. It's amazing to see just how different brains work, with or without the corpus callosum. So, I might be a little obsessed, brains mean something to me. It's fun! :P

A Better Life

So here lately I've become a slight health nut. Figuring out that I'm now Celiac really changed my life. I can't eat ANYTHING with Gluten in it now and it's just... hard to adjust. But I'm staying very strict on my knew diet change and I'm finally starting to feel better. I was even at a family reunion the other day and for the first time in several months after a big meal like that I realized something... I wasn't sick! I was so happy I had a smile on my face for hours after that.

Another thing I've been doing lately is working out A LOT. Possibly overdoing it just a little... or a lot. haha. But I'm getting healthier. I've lost 18 pounds in total so far and a friend of mind told me I was starting to obsess. But the thing is... as long as you have a handle on the obsession, obsessing over weight loss is okay, if it's for the right reason (health) Sometimes a person has to obsess to get results and that's what I've had to do! I'm THANKFUL for the fact that I've started to obsess because without that I wouldn't have lost 18 pounds! I also wouldn't be able to give up gluten so fully without it, and I wouldn't be able to make myself workout so routinely. This obsession is a good thing, it's helping me get to a better life.

Beyond all that I've started doing my makeup a little differently, started doing different things with my long hair (the longest it's been since I was in college 4 years ago, when I chopped it off for locks of love)

The point is, I'm changing and growing and making myself have a better life! People aren't going to like it... but it's not about them! It's about me, how I feel, how proud I'm making God because I'm building a  healthier temple for Him, My inside is strong, my heart and soul are in good shape, but now I want my body to match that. God is proud of that decision, I think. He loves us the way we are this is true but He wants us to take care of ourselves. To be healthy so that we'll feel well enough to celebrate and worship and praise him. So we'll feel like talking to the person at Wal-mart that we just met about how wonderful He is... so that we can look at that family member who says "you look great" and we can say "I couldn't have done this without God."

God wants us to have better lives, he'll give us the heart and means we've just got to step up and grab it.

Annoying Life

As already stated I am not a big fan of this month. I'm just trying to survive and get through. I really don't have anyone to talk to because my mom and I both shut down and most other people think I should be over it and unaffected by the death of my father, since it's been 13 years. I think I can depend on someone and they let me down, so then the only people I can talk to are one or two friends and I feel like I tell them too much and annoy them. Which makes me feel like I'm back in high school and I hate it. This life is annoying. Just wake me up when September Ends.

It's Hard Not To Cry Over Spilled Tea

September is a hard month for me, really the "hard month" starts in August but doesn't truly hit until September 1st. This year, it's been a tough one because with all the loss that happened to those I care about in August... especially friends of mines fathers dying... I just haven't been handling it well.

You might be wondering whats going on, why I'm so down about September. On September 11th 2001 my father went into a coma after battling Leukemia for 7 months. On Sept 12th 2001 my mother and I found him in that coma and rushed to the hospital, and on Sept 13th at 2001 My father died in his hospice room at the hospital. The next days to follow are a blur, my uncle got my mom and I a hotel room so we wouldn't have to drive home that night and so we would be surrounded by family... Then the next few days were visitation and funeral... I remember neither event very well. I remember friends coming, hugging, arguments with a sibling, reading a poem I wrote for Dad when he got sick, and then going home.

September is a month where all these memories that I DO have flood back. I remember the 11th-13th so vividly, I remember dad dying, getting mad at the person that kicked me out of his hospital room just before he drew his last breath. I remember finding out my dad died and hugging my nephews because I needed to hug SOMEONE. I remember wanting to cry and not wanting to cry, trying to get a hold of my two best guy friends Joey, and Codey, so I could talk to SOMEONE.

For years I hated the month of September. I still slightly shut down even 13 years later. I get grumpy and I used to get very anti-social, until about 4 years ago when my friend Carla came in my life, she helped me get out and do things during this time, even when I didn't want to. Then I "met" my friend Brian Crowley through youtube and twitter. His birthday is in September so it's his favorite month, lol. We butt heads on the subject till my conscience got a hold of me and I apologized. Brian was supportive, suggested some sad movies to get my crying out, and then basically just advised me to continue to live my life even though it hurt. If it wasn't for Carla and Brian I would still be a mess like I used to be.

I've heard a lot this past month "It's been 13 years, you should get over it." Let me say something to these insensitive people... you probably haven't experienced loss like this, while having an already tender heart. I was 15 when my dad died, he has missed a lot of major milestones in my life that have already happened and some that haven't happened yet. It was damaging to me. It STILL hurts. I can do my best to try and not let it get to me, and some days it STILL does. I FIGHT those memories, trying to remember the good times... and most of the year I DO remember the good times but in September I fight like heck to keep the bad memories away and sometimes I lose.

This loss of a father is like having tea in my favorite tea cup, and the tea cup falling and breaking, then my tea going EVERYWHERE. It's hard not to cry over that... but I'm trying to stay strong. Right now I just need patience and understanding. Once again this year I'm making small plans... on who to spend time with but I don't know all the details yet... and I don't know how much I can take, but I'm trying and that is what matters.

Spilled Tea and Bitter Chocolate

In this life it doesn't matter how determined we are. How much we fight things always happen that make the tea and chocolate moments (to me those are the good sweet moments in life) just... horrible. Instead of the sweet moments you are attacked with spilled tea and bitter horrible chocolate. You chocolate lovers know what I'm talking about don't you? Biting into a piece of chocolate that you expect to be delicious but instead it's absolutely bitter and has a horrible after taste, and you are horrified. What about my tea lovers? Have you ever been so excited for a nice cup of hot tea only for it to slosh out of it's cup, or spill as you sit it down, or the worst ever, your cup falls to the floor and not only are you left cleaning tea (with sugar in it) off a used to be clean carpet but your also cleaning up the shattered pieces of your favorite tea cup... Thats life for you. And it's sometimes unbearable.

Some days are hard to get through, especially when something attacks that "perfect" piece of your life, that favorite cup... But you know what, just pick up those pieces, find your silver lining, if you can get all the pieces together, fix the cup, make it into a craft, and look online to see if you can find another cup like that one. Or as in life... find a way to cope with the loss or mess of that shattered piece of your life. Find a new favorite... they exist.

Try to be positive, keep your head up and know, It DOES get better! <3 nbsp="" p="">

Total-tea Inspirational :)

I know that very few people, if any, read my blog. My audience comes and goes and a lot of the people read because they've been informed that they were mentioned in my blog (like my previous posts about Playlist Fiction and a few of my friends from last years theme month posts.) Anyone who doesn't know about my theme posts, I did an entire year of theme months last year where each month had a theme and a purpose and EVERY DAY I did something to go along with that. It was amazing! I'd love to do it again in future years. But now to the point of this blog post.

I don't watch a lot of youtube videos. But I do have certain people that I do watch on youtube. I watch The Pemberley Digital videos (I'm a Jane Austen Fan through and through, so of COURSE I watch Pemberley Digital) I watch some of the youtubers, such as PetesJams, Gary C, Emma Blackery, and Carrie Fletcher. There are others too but these are my current main ones. I started out watching Carrie Fletcher a few years ago. She's several years younger than me but I felt like she was a kindred spirit to my own personality. Then I started watching Emma Blackery who seems like a "takes no crap" kind of person and I LOVE that. Why do I love this? Because I strive to be that. She's got a mouth on her but you just can't help but be amused (and absolutely LOVE that about her), because...well, She's Emma! Next is PetesJams... who my autocorrect keeps trying to name PeeJunes. I don't know why but I think it might possibly amuse even him. Please, just don't start calling him that. haha  (no really I once nicknamed Jeremy Camp, the Christian artist, "One Post Wonder" as a joke on his Message Boards, about 15 of the other members actually started calling him that and while he was amused it ticked a LOT of people off) Then Gary C, He's just an honest and fun guy in his videos.

That being said, 3 of the 4 of these people LOVE Disney, like obsession worthy love, with a side of belting out all Disney tunes that they know which is quite possibly to any Disney tune in existence. Anyone that knows me, knows that my 28 year old self does that exact thing. In fact I've been known to go through stores belting out songs from Tangled, Frozen, Beauty and The Beast (my favorite) and so many more.  I've also been known to nickname people after certain things in Disney movies (I have 2 Exit Buddies, Finding Nemo)

Then there is Emma Blackery, if you have no idea who that is, please look her up on Youtube (look them all up actually, please)  the girl bravely shaved her head for charity, at Summer in the City. Just wow! She even said she felt like doing that she was shaving all the bad things out of her life. The girl is legendary in my mind just for that brave and strong act. She's beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

Each of these people are inspiring in their own ways. They are young adults, and their audiences are young teens and older. I consider myself among those of their older fans and I'm just thankful for each of them.

Carrie has recently put up a few videos that are PERFECT for where I'm at in my life, as I try to grasp at a small bit of happiness, then she's filmed videos with PetesJams that have just been amazing, their I See The Light video is absolutely amazing. Beyond that, she just did videos with Gary C. She is finishing up her first book and she's Eponine in Les Mis currently (again, if you know me you know I LOVE Les Mis and that Eponine has always been my favorite)

Pete, Gary, and Emma I haven't really been watching as long but I can tell you this about all 4 of these people. Our world is always looking for people to make it a better place and the Youtube community is full of people like that. These 4 (and Dodie, another great youtuber) as well as many others are a great example of that.

I'm so inspired right now. I've been out of college for 4 years, searching for a job and coming up short every time. Trying to hold onto myself in the midst of so many trials that fling at me... and it's been hard. So very hard. Getting rejected from having my dream job because I'm female, or because I'm an unmarried female, then because I may not tithe all the time (I give money to church when I can, but I mean it's hard to tithe when you don't have a job. God gets that, why can't churches? Why can't people except that when you can't tithe money at least you try to tithe TIME?!) Anyway my dream job for those of you who might be new, was once Youth Ministry. I don't really have one anymore though, unless you count finally finishing a book, which my ADD will mostly not allow.

I've been thinking of starting to make videos and actually vlog on my youtube channel. But I just don't know. I think I might just leave it to these amazing inspirational people. Besides, a Kentuckian hick accent is less enjoyable than British accents any day! lol! But...

The point is, these 4 and so many other youtubers are so very inspirational and I'm so thankful for them. I'm thankful for the smiles they bring to my face and the faces of so many others, I'm thankful for the tears they've helped me shed just when I needed to, and I'm thankful for them understanding what I'm going through when it feels like no one else does, even though they don't even know they are doing it. It's amazing how you can feel understood by people who live so far, people you've never met, people who don't have the same background as you at all but you are all united by something. Even if it starts with being united by youtube.

I doubt they'll ever see this, and that's completely fine. But I just wanted to say thank you, and it would be amazing if I got to meet you all one day and give each of you hugs. Until then though, to Emma, Gary, Carrie, Pete, Dodie, and any other amazing youtubers:

That will have to do! haha 

To any of their viewers reading this. Thanks for going on this viewer journey with me, you are all fabulous and amazing and I'm so glad that you understand how inspirational they are too! 

Okay well this post is long enough. haha Sorry! Thanks for sticking with it though, you are BEAUTIUL ! 

Thanks to google images for the fun pic addition. 

Until next time, 

-Lynnea (thats pronounced like ReNae but with an L) 

Gluten Free Vent

It's been almost 2 years since my mother and I learned we have a gluten sensitivity, and in that time I've been mostly faithful to my gluten free diet, giving in only when I'm with friends and having dinner at their house or at my house with them... This has served me alright, I would get sick and get over it a day or two later, it was fine, I could still function... but now... it's different.

My gluten allergy is worse. I had gluten two nights in a row (not the first time I've done that) almost 2 weeks ago... And I'm STILL sick, I'm STILL flushing the gluten out of my system. I decided that as it seems I'm getting closer and closer to Celiac I have decided, no more gluten for me! I have to go on an absolute strict diet eliminating ALL gluten. The thing is people aren't being all that understanding, there are a couple of people that have said when I am at their house they will fix only gluten free foods, others are asking why they have to care so much, others are saying I have to make my own gluten free food. Others...are not being very kind. And I've had about enough.

If you had an allergy that completely changed the way you've been living for 20+ years how would you feel? Don't you think people should be more understanding and respectful?

When it comes out that someone in you company has a peanut allergy, isn't it a fact that if that allergy is so bad they can't even be in the same room with the stuff, we do something about it! We fix the problem because LIVES are at stake here. Here is the deal with someone with Celiac or a severe gluten intolerance, if they eat something with gluten in it there body does not respond well, it is slowly killing them. It's not as fast acting as peanuts to someone with that allergy but it's still toxic and it COULD still equal death. Now, most times it wont effect them if something with gluten is in the same ROOM...but if they put that in their bodies... get ready for a crap load of bad stuff to happen. Be respect of the gluten free, people. Chances are, those of us who are rather new are really struggling with it. I can't even tell you how many times I've cried over the last two weeks, realizing just how much my life has to change. It's sad, and it's scary, Support us. Please.

Beau-tea!

So for the last few days I've been very sick, thanks to a gluten intolerance that I'm learning is getting worse. Yesterday I decided to have a nice Hot relaxing bath, some wine, and just relax. Today I continued the trend  doing a dance workout this morning then later soaking my feet in my foot massager, giving myself a mani/pedi, facial, and makeover. I also did my hair, had a cup of tea and enjoyed a movie and some yummy healthy food! It was healing! 

Beauty is a simple thing to accomplish, just by following our own beauty steps, doing what makes YOU feel beautiful. Have a spa day at home, watch a movie, take a bubble bath, drink some wine, workout. Whatever makes you feel good. If you are having a rough time, feeling sick just do something like that. It'll feel like you are healing from the inside out. 

I love tea, most often when I'm feeling lousy I'll have green tea and feel myself calming. Find your favorite beverage and just go out. Have yourself a Beau-tea day ;) 

Quali-tea food with a healthy twist

My mother and I have found out in the past few years that we have thyroid disease. Beyond that we're noticing that we can't eat certain foods (soy, wheat/gluten, milk- though we have known about milk the longest) But the thing is when so many things are cut out of your diet what is left? How can food be made exciting and not bland or boring, but still healthy? We've been on a search for the answers to these questions and this is what we've found. Below you'll see a pickle dog and a "sandwich" that is tuna salad and lettuce. The options are healthy but they taste OH SO GOOD! We have even eaten our cheese burgers with lettuce buns. So these options are gluten free but quali-tea! :) If you are looking for some great healthy options give these a try they are simple, quick, and yummy with a side of good for you. :) I want to tell EVERYONE I know about this because I believe it's important to take care of ourselves and to give our bodies the food they need in the best way that we can. Enjoy this post and I hope you enjoy the yummy food too :)

Playlist Young Adult Fiction: Five Days. Five Books. Five Dollars

Yes. You read that right!

Looks awesome doesn't it? These books are all books that I've read and absolutely loved. The authors of each of these books are wonderful. So if you like to read and have a kindle PLEASE take advantage of these. The deal only lasts from June 23rd (today) through June 27th (Friday) So get your copies NOW, Please!

Here is a link for them:

It's Complicated: http://www.amazon.com/Its-Complicated-Status-Updates-Book-ebook/dp/B00C2BXK6Q/ref=sr_1_6?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1403569200&sr=1-6&keywords=it%27s+complicated

Glass Girl: http://www.amazon.com/Glass-Girl-Young-Adult-Novel-ebook/dp/B00C298XOC/ref=sr_1_11?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1403569048&sr=1-11&keywords=Playlist+fiction

Swimming Through Clouds: http://www.amazon.com/Swimming-Through-Clouds-Contemporary-Novel-ebook/dp/B00D0V236K/ref=sr_1_7?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1403568488&sr=1-7&keywords=Playlist+fiction

Between These Lines: http://www.amazon.com/Between-These-Lines-Young-Adult-ebook/dp/B00C2DQCBY/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1403569202&sr=1-1&keywords=between+these+lines

The Revised Life Of Ellie Sweet: http://www.amazon.com/Revised-Ellie-Sweet-Young-Contemporary-ebook/dp/B00CJ0W5J8/ref=sr_1_12?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1403569048&sr=1-12&keywords=Playlist+fiction

Playing Catch up

I spent far too many months away from the blog, trying to figure out my life. I stopped writing up until about 3 weeks ago. Now that I've sort of gained some of my identity back I'm starting to play catch up. I plan to blog more, get more involved in my writing and in my crafting again. Spend more time with the people that matter. Last year it was easy to keep focus on who I was, in the midst of everything going on I had my theme months to keep my focus where it should be. But this year I haven't had that safety net. I've had a very hard 6 months and in the midst of all of it I have had some really great friends trying to keep me grounded and I'm not afraid to admit that it almost didn't work. I was on the verge of completely losing myself. In the process many of my friends were worried that they'd lose me.

Now though I have some time to recoup, to gather myself together once again and do what I'm supposed to do. I'm excited to see what this time of catch up will bring. I'm determined to do something though and to get lots done. I also have a lot of books to read! lol

Bible Study

So For the last few months I've been teaching an in home/online Bible Study. It's been going well. However for the last several weeks I've had to cancel. I figured this was as good a place as any to discuss this. About 2 and a half months ago I started having a horrible, unbearable, and constant pain in my side. After a little over a month of this and no improvement my mother and some close friends talked to me about needing to go to the doctor, two of them made me promise that I would. So I did, and they found that I had a small kidney stone. I began on the journey to get rid of it and still a month later I haven't passed it and the pain is getting worse as well as some other things that have been happening. So I've had to cancel. I hope to start back up next week or the week after. I miss the world of Esther, with some wonderful women. My life has been a little calmer without some of the extra pressure in my home so that's been fine but I haven't been able to take full advantage of this. Hopefully Soon!

I write again soon (I hope) hehe

Craftea

Well I have no idea what to do with this blog anymore but I know I'm missing my crafting days. I need to get out there and just start doing my thing again but life has gotten hard and taken a lot out of me. I'm gonna try though. My life is becoming more about tea, writing, and crafting again and I can openly share that part of myself online. :) So lets see how that goes, shall we?

Heavens to Betsy!

The title of this post says it all! It's April of 2014 and I haven't posted since December of 2013! I know not a lot of people read my blog so it doesn't REALLY matter but I was doing so well with posting last year! I'm so sorry I've slacked off! May I should have done a theme year again this year. haha!

Well from December to April not a lot has changed. I'm trying for a position in Childrens ministry, I am still selling jewelry and my life is still dull and meaningless. I have a few friends and I care for them deeply. That number has recently grown thanks to connections with people in my church family. Thats all thats going on really so this is a very short post. I need to find something specific to blog about don't I?